Depressed

Have you ever been in so much pain that you can't even function to put on your own clothes?

Or to the point that you break down crying cause it's affecting your ability to work?

Well I am currently suffering with a problem in my neck, right shoulder and arm. It all started Wednesday last week on the 20th. I woke up totally fine, no pain, went to grab something from the closet overhead and BAM! Neck spams from HELL!

Whatever, I've dealt with this before, some stretching, heat, massage from the boyfriend, and some Advil. Usually my pains go away in 2-3 days. Not this time.

On Thursday 21st I had 15 clients at work. I think I forgot to mention what I do for a living. I massage people. Professionally of course. I'm fully licensed and practicing for 3 years now. Anyways!

10 clients in and I'm DYING! So I seek out a fellow MT to help me. I find a rehab clinic upstairs in the same building that is willing to take me in for a 30 min treatment. She helps, I get some relief, but it doesn't last long seeing as I still had 5 treatments to do.

After work, I went home, took a hot shower, stretched, and popped and Advil then went to bed.

When I woke up in the morning I was a disaster! I was having sharp shooting pain in my eye, visual disturbances, and tingling in my arm. Okay? I till had to face work for the rest of the weekend. Great!

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday go by and it's just getting worse. The pain is now catching my arm!

Monday (yesterday) rolls around and still working! I work Mondays and Wednesdays at a Chiropractic clinic uptown. After 2 treatments I couldn't take it anymore. I was in tears! I approached the Chriopractor and asked him for help. Let me start off by saying Chiropractors scare me. I've never been adjusted before and never wanted to be. But I was desperate!

So he did what any Chiro does, he cracked my neck. Apparently, according to him I have a pinched nerve and I had a rib that was popped out :/ ... Umm okay?
He also made me wear a cervical spine decompressor which didn't really help. I actually found that it caused me more pain.

Today it is Tuesday and YES I am working! I'm in so much pain that I'm considering taking work off for the rest of the week. My arms are gone, no strength at all, shoulder and neck are shot to shit. (Excuse me French) but I can't help but be irritable and cranky!

I booked another massage at 4 pm between clients. I know there no point but I'll take anything at this point.

Heal me please! Somebody! *tear*

Coming home

So Matt is coming back home tomorrow from Portugal. I don't know how I feel about that to be completely honest... I thought I would be excited, ecstatic to be honest since I missed him so much. But I'm not :/ I'm indifferent, and I can't seem to understand why. Maybe it was because he upset me and we got into an argument on Friday night. But why should something like that push me so over the edge to a point where I don't care to miss you?

We haven't really talked all that much since he had left. We Skype here and there whenever he gets the chance.

" I miss you, I feel like apart of me is missing, I hate not seeing you. I want to dedicate more time to you."

These words and a whole lot more was preached to me over the time he was there. But yet, Friday, 2 and a half days left till he returns, I write something sentimental on his Facebook wall.
I believe I wrote ...

" Two and a half days left... That's two days too many :("

His response to that was..

"It's already been 6 days"

What?... Are you joking?.... It's hard enough for me to display public affection, especially on your Facebook wall, and that's what you respond with?!?

I made a comment to him later on that his response was "lame," to which he responded with.." Wow, really?"

We talked a little more and then he took off for a short period of time. I finished work and was getting ready to leave when I got a Skype message saying..

"They want me to go to a bar, should I go? :/"

Not even two seconds after that he posts a comment on MY Facebook wall saying..

" "I wish you were here (L)" "..

I quoted that in a quote because be quoted that himself!! :/

Trying to soften the blow much? Only after I make a stink about the comment you last made and now you wanna go to a bar. How convenient.

He ended up going of course and strolling in at 4 am in the morning. I wanted to snap! This caused a fight the next day and we haven't been the same since...

I'm going with his parents to the airport tomorrow to pick him up... Hopefully things change then and the thirst for him comes back.

We will see... His flight is at 5:30 am their time, 1:30 an hour our time. He is expected at 3-3:30 pm tomorrow.

Fingers crossed.

He Left Me

Yes, that's right. He left me. He went to Portugal for a week without me....*SAD FACE*

As I have mentioned, he works in a Soccer Club that happens to travel annually to Portugal to practice and learn in their actual academy. What sucks thought is I have no Matt for a whole week. This blows. It happened last year too but it didn't suck AS much. Mainly because I didn't love him yet.

Anyway's, he had to be at the airport for 5:00 pm since his flight was for 8. His parents and Miki took him and told me to come along. Thank GOD I only had one client at work yesterday. So we all went over to the airport. Matt sat in the middle seat of the back and Miki and I sat on either side. Both of us were crying and the parents were laughing at both of us. "

"It's only a week guys, he will be back"

So we dropped him off, we left, Miki wanted me to stay with him for a bit still and play video games with him, which I agreed to. Before I left Matt's dad Bino, asked for my number to put in his phone so that they could invite me over for coffee or dinner. The Mindy and I hugged and she said that since she is always home and barely answers her cell phone to just call the house. We said our goodbyes and Matt phoned me as I was getting into my car.

We spoke a few more times until his plane took off. He even sent my a text message while he was in the air.

6 hours and 46 minutes was the length of his flight. I kept track and set alarms to wake me up around his arrival time. It was 3:08 am here in Ontario when he landed and 8:11 am there in Portugal. HE had sent me a text message from his phone around 4:10 am here to let me know he had landed and that he will contact me when he has the chance. I have already received 1 text message since and then he had messaged me on skpye around 12 pm here.

I miss him so much... I cant wait till he comes home on the 18th. I have never wished for it to be a Monday so much in my entire life.

I love you Matthew.
❤

Friday Date night

Yesterday was a great day! No work? Sounds great! But seriously, in all honestly, having no work yesterday was the best thing. I ended up having a wonder afternoon/evening with my Matthew. *sigh*

I have slept over almost every night this whole week at his house, so I ended up driving him to school yesterday morning for 8:30. It was cool mainly since I made him stay up late to watch "Baggage" with me. Have you seen it? It's hosted by Jerry Springer and basically it's about the main player either a female or male trying to find a date out of three bachelors or three bachelorettes who all have, well, baggage! To sum it all up,the three contestants each have 3 suitcases, a small, medium, and a large. In each suitcase is a piece of baggage that they have to reveal to the main person in which she or he must send 2 of them packing. 

To be completely honest I hate reality TV and games shows for the most part but for some reason, I am hooked! They have the most bizarre "baggage" I have ever seen!

UH? ....What?

At the end of the game, if the main player has finally ruled out which contestants baggage they can handle, he or she then has to reveal their biggest piece of baggage and hope that theirs is accepted too. Yes, the main player of the game can be rejected for their baggage. I find it so funny! The outcome sometimes is hilarious! You must watch if you have the GSN (Game Show Network).

Anyways! Back to yesterday *happy face*

So after I dropped him off at school, I went home to take care of my own little things. We decided that we were going to meet up in the afternoon since he finishes school at 1:30 on Fridays. I had brought up the idea of venturing downtown just for the heck of it! So that's what we did! I wanted to take the bus so we both picked a subway station close to the both of us to meet at. He decided to take me to Kensington Market which is a National Historic site of Canada that contains a mixture of vintage clothing stores, Latin American grocers and butchers, loads of fresh quality produce, café's and watering holes. Then he decided to take me to the Distillery District which is another historic entertainment site located on the east end of Toronto and it withholds numerous café's, restaurants, shops, art gallery's and exhibits.

Kensington Market

Distillery District 

After venturing around in our lovely freezing Canadian weather! We decided that we were starving and wanted to eat. It was a toss-up between Porketta Sandwiches or Mexican. We both agreed on Mexican food. Besides, I've been craving for it a long time now.

Matt said he knew a good place that he's been to three times on Yonge called "La Mexicana." Which I must say was totally worth it. First of all, I know the history of this place to him, so I was kind of sceptical and awkward at first. Him and his ex had their "one year" there and his birthday which both happen to fall on the same day.. Great.. Associate your birthday with your ex. Ugh.

Any-Who! It was an overall memorable evening. We both ordered the same dishes since it caught both of our attentions.I need to mention how they place nachos on the table! So much better then bread! YUM!

Cute Place

Nachos! Yum!!

 The ambiance was very nice, and not to mention they had a live Mariachi band who was circling the restaurant! So much fun! 

They ended up approaching us and asking us if we had a request. Matt told them to surprise us to which they then turned to me and asked me if I speak Spanish. Clearly not ... So I said "No." They then started singing a song in English. Stand by Me by Ben. E. King was the song that they chose. They also made us hold both hands through the hold entire song. I was so embarrassed! It wasn't a special occasion or anything, but the whole room was staring at us being sarenated. All I could do was laugh. Matt just smiled at me and sang along to the song while looking at me. I was bright red! RED!

These were the dishes we got. The same I know. Great minds think alike :)

After dinner, we head back to his house to watch a movie. He has a slew of movies that I haven't watched yet. He decided we should watch Inglorious Bastards by Quentin Tarantino. Honestly a great movie!

We then curled up together and went to sleep. Perfect ending to a perfect day. *sigh* I love him.

So darling, darling, stand by me. Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me.

Muah! XoX

I Just Wanna Run Away With You

RUN AWAY

Lyrics ❤

Run away with me just the two of us 
and no one else 
to a place where we can fall in love 
the world is ours 
I don't wanna stay here so take me away 
everybody stay clear I'm leaving today 
paradise is so near 
when love leads the way 
there's nothing that can stop us are u ready to escape? 


I wanna hop on a red-eye flight with you tonight 
I don't care where it's going I just wanna run away with you 
I just wanna run away with you 

I wanna hop on a red-eye flight with you tonight 
I don't care where it's going I just wanna run away with you 
I just wanna run away with you 

I wanna run away, run away, runaway 
I wanna run away, run away, runaway 
I wanna run away, run away, runaway 
I wanna run away, run away, runaway 

Take a moment and breath 
feel the rush of love get into you 
you amaze, amaze me now we are up so high 
look at the view 

I don't wanna stay here so take me away 
everybody stay clear I'm leaving today 
paradise is so near 
when love leads the way 
there's nothing that can stop us are u ready to escape? 

I wanna hop on a red-eye flight with you tonight 
I don't care where it's going I just wanna run away with you 
I just wanna run away with you 

I wanna hop on a red-eye flight with you tonight 
I don't care where it's going I just wanna run away with you 
I just wanna run away with you 

I wanna run away, run away, runaway 
I wanna run away, run away, runaway 
I wanna run away, run away, runaway 
I wanna run away, run away, runaway