Okay so let me update you on what has happened in the last little while;
1) I finished my case studies for Reflexology!
2) Me and Matt decided that I need to get my Italian citizenship card if we want to go to England and work.
3) Matt want's to be put under my car insurance so we can split the pay (which is sweet on his behalf cause he knows it will help me)
4) I'm potentially getting thinner?
5) I've voiced my concern to Matt about him being way to much on the cheap side. He had mentioned going to Winterlicious (which is basically when restaurants hold fixed menus and charge like $30.00 for a 3 course meal.) Lets see if he takes me. He hasn't mentioned since it started and it ends Feb.06...
6) I just had a job interview today and got it pretty much on the spot.
7) I want to give my 2 weeks notice at the current job I am at with my bitch boss.
Yup...
I need to make a bucket list for 2013.
Maybe next post. This will take some time and effort.
Ciao Xox ❤
Monday, 28 January 2013
Sunday, 27 January 2013
What kind of sleeper are you?
Do you enjoy spooning? Or maybe you like to wake up and smell the morning-breath of your beloved first thing in the morning. Or even better are you a blanket thief?
I just love hearing about peoples sleeping positions with there significant others. The stories are always so funny to hear or compare too.
I am described as a blanket thief and heat stealer. Let me explain.
So Matt is what I like to call a furnace, he creates so much heat that it isn't even funny. So I usually end up doing one of two things since I can't create my own heat for the life of me.
I either snuggle up and attach myself to him like a parasite to keep warm or, if he moves away from me I retaliate by stealing the covers so he gets cold and has no choice but to come back and snuggle with me. Hehe >=) I'm evil. Yes I do this on purpose!
We always go to sleep in the spooning position though. ALWAYS! ... Staying there is the issue though since I sleep like a crazy person!
Well crazy person OUT! It'z Zumba time
XoX Ciao!
Friday, 25 January 2013
You Got Bail?
Okay so, your probably all wondering what I mean by "bail"... Bail as in "I got bail from jail"...No, not me!
Oh that's right! You all don't know the story! I fully neglected to tell you! Well here, let me fill you in..
This all takes place 2012 between the months of May-June. Remember the boyfriend I had before Matt? Yes the one I broke up with for Matt in one of my previous blogs called "A Year Ago". It was mutual, we both agreed that the relationship was going no where. So like any two NORMAL people would do, we called it quits.
...Nope, of course not! There always has to be a crazy person! Yes! freaking bat shit crazy!
So anyways, we had decided that we could possibly still stay friends. WE ended up doing our own things, barely spoke, which was fine. Until the day of our anniversary came around which was May 29th, he showed up at my door, no phone call or anything, just showed up with a shit load of gifts..What the ****? Umm we are BROKEN up remember? He pushed these things on me and gave my a love letter that was confessing his dire love for me.
I didn't have it in me to tell him I was seeing someone else, that and the fact that my MOM told me not too cause it might make him go crazy...
So I had just repetitively drilled it into his head that "We are not dating any more!"
After making him leave, he left all the stuff he brought with him. I immediately called Matt and read him the love letter that sounded MENTAL!
He was basically still implying that we are still dating and that he will always love me, and that we will work through this....NOOOOOOO! UGH!
Okay let's make a long story just a tad shorter.
June 21st, 2012, It was the World Cup for Soccer and it was the day Portugal was playing, who they were against I can't remember for the life of me. Anyway, the idea was to go for sushi and then back to Matt's house to watch the game with him and his dad.
We ended up picking the sushi restaurant near my area, well its practically near both our areas, whatever. We had lunch and went back to his house and watched the game. He had work later on so I ended up driving him and then went to my friends house to help her study. I was there till 9:30 pm.
When I got home, it was about the time Matt was done work so we were now chatting on the phone, we ended up talking till 12:00 am and still going until....
*BOOM BOOM BOOM*...Someone was smashing on my font door..
Me: "The hell, Matt.. I think someone is knocking on my door.."
Matt: "What? you sure?"
Me: "Shhh, hold on ...."
The dogs were going ape shit, barking and freaking out. I was holding Noce back and telling him to shut up.
Me: "Yeah Matt, there is definitely someone at the door."
Matt: "Who the fuck would be at your door at 12:03 in the morning?!"
"COME OUTSIDE NOW! I KNOW YOUR IN THERE! COME OUT NOW!"
More banging and smashing on the door!
It was my ex, and he wasn't going to give up or stop.
"Matt, it's my ex, he's freaking out on my door! Why do I have a bad feeling about this like he found out about us?"
"I highly doubt that, how would he? Just relax and stay quiet..He will eventually go away."
almost 8 minutes later he is still going at it. Then here silence...
"DON'T MAKE ME COME UPSTAIRS!"
What?!?! Did I just hear the right?!?! "Don't make me come upstairs"? But are you in my house?!
"Matt... I think he is in my house!"
"Are you kidding? How? How would he get in? Does he have a key?"
"Noooo!.. Hold on! I'm going to look!"
I leave the phone in my room, and head down the hall way and peek around the corner where the staircase is....
Blow and behold there he is! Standing at the bottom of my staircase! He had broke into my fucking HOUSE!
What ended up happening to shorten things, he did find out, from one of his friends that spotted me and Matt and the sushi place. He ended up assaulting me and calling me horrible names.
BUT WE WERE BROKEN UP?!!? LIKE WTF?!!? and to top it off.. YOU AGREED WITH IT! BACK IN DECEMBER! HELLO?!?!
He was smashing me around the garbage cans, against the walls, car, everything. Can you believe with all that noise and me screaming help, plus all that chaos that happened before that, no one woke up to help me? My useless mother stayed in bed... and my sister who was awake did nothing... yah... gotta love family...
I told him to get off my property and finally my dad came home and he decided to fuck off..Only after he had beaten the crap out of me and called me a whore and a slut for 15-20 mins....
Apparently when I had put the phone down to see if he was in my house, Matt had started counting how long it was taking me. After the 4th-5th minute he took his phone, with me still connected and grabbed a weapon, his dads car, and was headed to my house. Of course I made it back to the phone before he got to my house, he was in total 4-5 mins away after everything ended. He decided to come anyway and forced me to go home with him. He didn't want me to stay home after that. I was pretty shaken up,crying and in shock.
In the end, Matt forced me to get a restraining order and he was put in jail for a night. The only reason why we decided this is because my ex literally lives down the street. Yep, scary right?
I just received a letter in the mail saying he got bail on Jan 22 of 2013? What does that mean? Don't you have to be in jail to get bail? I'm so confused!
At the bottom of the letter it also states :
"Please remember that if the accused breaks the rules set by a court, you may be in danger."
Uhhh :S....Okay? Great? I'm in danger now? ...
*Calls detective that dealt with case*
Oh that's right! You all don't know the story! I fully neglected to tell you! Well here, let me fill you in..
This all takes place 2012 between the months of May-June. Remember the boyfriend I had before Matt? Yes the one I broke up with for Matt in one of my previous blogs called "A Year Ago". It was mutual, we both agreed that the relationship was going no where. So like any two NORMAL people would do, we called it quits.
...Nope, of course not! There always has to be a crazy person! Yes! freaking bat shit crazy!
So anyways, we had decided that we could possibly still stay friends. WE ended up doing our own things, barely spoke, which was fine. Until the day of our anniversary came around which was May 29th, he showed up at my door, no phone call or anything, just showed up with a shit load of gifts..What the ****? Umm we are BROKEN up remember? He pushed these things on me and gave my a love letter that was confessing his dire love for me.
I didn't have it in me to tell him I was seeing someone else, that and the fact that my MOM told me not too cause it might make him go crazy...
So I had just repetitively drilled it into his head that "We are not dating any more!"
After making him leave, he left all the stuff he brought with him. I immediately called Matt and read him the love letter that sounded MENTAL!
He was basically still implying that we are still dating and that he will always love me, and that we will work through this....NOOOOOOO! UGH!
Okay let's make a long story just a tad shorter.
June 21st, 2012, It was the World Cup for Soccer and it was the day Portugal was playing, who they were against I can't remember for the life of me. Anyway, the idea was to go for sushi and then back to Matt's house to watch the game with him and his dad.
We ended up picking the sushi restaurant near my area, well its practically near both our areas, whatever. We had lunch and went back to his house and watched the game. He had work later on so I ended up driving him and then went to my friends house to help her study. I was there till 9:30 pm.
When I got home, it was about the time Matt was done work so we were now chatting on the phone, we ended up talking till 12:00 am and still going until....
*BOOM BOOM BOOM*...Someone was smashing on my font door..
Me: "The hell, Matt.. I think someone is knocking on my door.."
Matt: "What? you sure?"
Me: "Shhh, hold on ...."
The dogs were going ape shit, barking and freaking out. I was holding Noce back and telling him to shut up.
Me: "Yeah Matt, there is definitely someone at the door."
Matt: "Who the fuck would be at your door at 12:03 in the morning?!"
"COME OUTSIDE NOW! I KNOW YOUR IN THERE! COME OUT NOW!"
More banging and smashing on the door!
It was my ex, and he wasn't going to give up or stop.
"Matt, it's my ex, he's freaking out on my door! Why do I have a bad feeling about this like he found out about us?"
"I highly doubt that, how would he? Just relax and stay quiet..He will eventually go away."
almost 8 minutes later he is still going at it. Then here silence...
"DON'T MAKE ME COME UPSTAIRS!"
What?!?! Did I just hear the right?!?! "Don't make me come upstairs"? But are you in my house?!
"Matt... I think he is in my house!"
"Are you kidding? How? How would he get in? Does he have a key?"
"Noooo!.. Hold on! I'm going to look!"
I leave the phone in my room, and head down the hall way and peek around the corner where the staircase is....
Blow and behold there he is! Standing at the bottom of my staircase! He had broke into my fucking HOUSE!
What ended up happening to shorten things, he did find out, from one of his friends that spotted me and Matt and the sushi place. He ended up assaulting me and calling me horrible names.
BUT WE WERE BROKEN UP?!!? LIKE WTF?!!? and to top it off.. YOU AGREED WITH IT! BACK IN DECEMBER! HELLO?!?!
He was smashing me around the garbage cans, against the walls, car, everything. Can you believe with all that noise and me screaming help, plus all that chaos that happened before that, no one woke up to help me? My useless mother stayed in bed... and my sister who was awake did nothing... yah... gotta love family...
I told him to get off my property and finally my dad came home and he decided to fuck off..Only after he had beaten the crap out of me and called me a whore and a slut for 15-20 mins....
Apparently when I had put the phone down to see if he was in my house, Matt had started counting how long it was taking me. After the 4th-5th minute he took his phone, with me still connected and grabbed a weapon, his dads car, and was headed to my house. Of course I made it back to the phone before he got to my house, he was in total 4-5 mins away after everything ended. He decided to come anyway and forced me to go home with him. He didn't want me to stay home after that. I was pretty shaken up,crying and in shock.
In the end, Matt forced me to get a restraining order and he was put in jail for a night. The only reason why we decided this is because my ex literally lives down the street. Yep, scary right?
I just received a letter in the mail saying he got bail on Jan 22 of 2013? What does that mean? Don't you have to be in jail to get bail? I'm so confused!
At the bottom of the letter it also states :
"Please remember that if the accused breaks the rules set by a court, you may be in danger."
Uhhh :S....Okay? Great? I'm in danger now? ...
*Calls detective that dealt with case*
Wednesday, 23 January 2013
Where's The Time?!
I swear it has been like 3 days now that I haven't written a blog. So let me get you guys on track with what's happened in the last few days!
Monday - Nothing exciting happen, seriously. Except I got paid :) *Cha-Ching!*
Tuesday - BAD snow storm, got into fight with bitch boss, got bitch boss in trouble with bigger boss. Ha Ha! Got Paid AGAIN! BOOM!
Wednesday (Today) - Slept in till 1 pm.. Yah I know.. lazy shmuck! Oh Oh Ohhh I did my case studies for reflexology, BAM! (BTW !! Almost done) and maybe now I can go to bed? Work tomorrow =( *le sigh*
I wanna write about something tomorrow that has been racking my mind!
kay kay kay!
Goodnight XoX!
Monday - Nothing exciting happen, seriously. Except I got paid :) *Cha-Ching!*
Tuesday - BAD snow storm, got into fight with bitch boss, got bitch boss in trouble with bigger boss. Ha Ha! Got Paid AGAIN! BOOM!
Wednesday (Today) - Slept in till 1 pm.. Yah I know.. lazy shmuck! Oh Oh Ohhh I did my case studies for reflexology, BAM! (BTW !! Almost done) and maybe now I can go to bed? Work tomorrow =( *le sigh*
I wanna write about something tomorrow that has been racking my mind!
kay kay kay!
Goodnight XoX!
Monday, 21 January 2013
Today was a bad day...Work was good thought so I can't fully complain. I had five clients today. The only thing that sucked was they were one after another and no break. I practically had to choke on my food.
The bad day starts with Matt...We argued again.. We always argue now...
Maybe it's me... I think I am starting to expect too much *ahem* The last post is a good indication.
But I'm not a bitch girlfriend! I swear! I love him... I really do. But my love for him scares me...
Why? I feel vulnerable..I feel insignificant to him compared to his other relationships.
*Sigh* I wish I could just get over it and just focus on us. The here and now.
Our Fight was so bad that he actually deactivated his Facebook account...Prove a point I guess?
Anyway's, the night ended off with Matt coming to see me, he wanted to talk in "person."
Screaming, yelling, crying, two hours later we finally got it all out of our systems.
He loves me, but I already know that..He says it alot.... Although he doesn't show it.
Like I mentioned before, I don't feel special to him at all. Very insignificant. Just the "next girlfriend" who he wont make the same mistakes or put as much effort into as the last one.
Did I mention that next month is our one year anniversary and I haven't been introduced to at least one of his friends! I made this clear to him thought that this bothers me.
Matt: " I don't have any friends..you are my only friend. My best friend."
We left on good terms but I'm still uneasy about the whole thing.
He just makes me question my life and what I want...
*Sigh*
Currently listening to "The Grace- Never Ending White Lights" on loop.
Yup, hello sleepless night number three.
The bad day starts with Matt...We argued again.. We always argue now...
Maybe it's me... I think I am starting to expect too much *ahem* The last post is a good indication.
But I'm not a bitch girlfriend! I swear! I love him... I really do. But my love for him scares me...
Why? I feel vulnerable..I feel insignificant to him compared to his other relationships.
*Sigh* I wish I could just get over it and just focus on us. The here and now.
Our Fight was so bad that he actually deactivated his Facebook account...Prove a point I guess?
Anyway's, the night ended off with Matt coming to see me, he wanted to talk in "person."
Screaming, yelling, crying, two hours later we finally got it all out of our systems.
He loves me, but I already know that..He says it alot.... Although he doesn't show it.
Like I mentioned before, I don't feel special to him at all. Very insignificant. Just the "next girlfriend" who he wont make the same mistakes or put as much effort into as the last one.
Did I mention that next month is our one year anniversary and I haven't been introduced to at least one of his friends! I made this clear to him thought that this bothers me.
Matt: " I don't have any friends..you are my only friend. My best friend."
We left on good terms but I'm still uneasy about the whole thing.
He just makes me question my life and what I want...
*Sigh*
Currently listening to "The Grace- Never Ending White Lights" on loop.
Yup, hello sleepless night number three.
Sunday, 20 January 2013
Slightly Concerned? More Like Annoyed!
So, back tracking to my past posts, I've mentioned my concerns with Matt's past with his last ex girlfriend. I ranted about how I found out about some of the stuff they had and shared and how it bothered me because, he does nothing even remotely close for me.
Actually, come to think of it, Matt is pretty cheap when it comes to me and very half assed about everything he does. He kind of flys by the whim of his pants when it comes to me and the things he plans. My birthday was basically planned by me, and even though I enjoyed it, it was very sudden and not thought out. For the love of God I cooked dinner for us that night.
Should this be bothering me as much as it does? Well let me tell you why. So I found out that he use to buy her movies and stuff, you know, things that she enjoyed and liked. Probably cheap 5-10 dollar movies, but it's the thought that counts. Well here's the thing. He buys me absolutely NOTHING at all!
You see, I'm more of a video gamer versus a movie lover, although I do love the odd movie here and there. Explain to me how I have a tab with Matt? Yes, a tab. Two weeks ago there was a video game I wanted that was on sale and Matt works at Best Buy, so he also gets deals and discounts. He is very aware of the games I play but that's besides the point. So anyways, I had asked him to pick up the game for me, so he did. Tell me how he presents me with the BILL afterwards! Yes ladies and gents, he makes me pay him back for everything and keeps track of what he spends.
It gets better though. When we go out for lunch, or what ever, he keeps track of what he pays for so I get the next thing we decide to do. Whats better then that? He purposely grabs the cheaper bills and lets me pay for the more expensive outings! Yah. Buddy your cheap.
Let's top that shall we? When he decides to go on outings or adventures that he plans and invites me too, he makes sure we go halves! Yes! Here let me give you an example!
He planned a day to go to Bronte creek which is basically just a, well, a creek..
You basically just have to pay for parking there and like 2 dollars a person to enter the pool area. Parking is like 15 bucks and yah 4 dollars in total for the both of us to get into the pool.
He splits the bill in half!!! Buddy! You freaking planed the day and invited me! And you make me pay? What the F#$@!!!
He does this with everything... Everything!!
He was never like that with his ex girlfriend and this is starting to piss me off!
Like who am I ? Your friend or your girlfriend? Start treating me like one!
Look, I'm not one to be pampered, ever, and to be completely honest, I'm very simple and usually enjoy the little things in life, like scenery, walks, nature, drives, staying in and playing video games, watching tv or movies. I'm not about money but this is getting ridiculous! Let me add that I actually hate being paid for all the time and actually like paying for the bill once in awhile, I'm fair and I'm not a cheap person. Come to think of it, at the start of our relationship I would always be the one to pull out the wallet to make a gesture that " I've got this." Maybe a little too much? Now it's like he waits to see if I will take initiative to pay for whatever we are doing or getting all the time. He will just stare at me and then when I hesitate he will grab his wallet and say,
" I'll grab this then, you grab the next"
Like the bill is 15 dollars! And to boot it's mostly cause of him! He orders like a triple combo and I get the sandwich by itself! Mine costs 4 with tax and his is like 13 or 14! Da FUK!
Guess what the "next" thing is? Maybe a movie or something that usually costs between both of us 35 dollars!!! Yep! I get the expensive bill. Son of Bitch!
In the grand scheme of things, I am a female and would like to feel special and thought of. I'm not asking for a pandora bracelet for the love of Moses! But small considerate things would be nice.
Come on! He took us to a drive in movie theater in Oakvill that costed like 20 bucks for the both of us, and he made me pay for my half! WTF!
Why is this such a big deal after a year you ask? Where does this all come from out of no where? It didn't seem like a concern before.
Well, guess what ladies and gents, February is just around the corner. Not only is it the month of Valentines Day but also our one year anniversary!
Let me mention the fact that I'm broke since work is slow, I still haven't decided if I'm renewing my car insurance or parking her. *sigh* Stressed out right now...
I can't wait to see what he DOESN'T do for me.. Or what he half asses and pays nothing for. If this happens, so help me God I am making a stink! This has gone too far and I deserve way more then this!
Especially because he went all out with his last ex girlfriend.... Hotels, expensive restaurants, limos, reservations! Did I mention that this was all for her birthday that was a few months after they first met? Yah... I'm getting sick of it.
if you read my "relaxing birthday weekend" back in 2012, it was spent at his house, making dinner for the both of us, going to a Starbucks, a house set up with Christmas lights, and a drive to Niagara Falls to look at the festival of lights. Which is all free! Except the 3 dollar coffee from Starbucks.. Maybe gas, I forgot about that. Yep... *Sigh*
I'm a hard working female who doesn't have alot to show for it because I don't get to buy things for myself or go places when ever I want. I have responsibilities, I am not whimsical, I'm practical, and for the love of God, I deserve to be spoiled once in a freaking while!
I will keep you posted and up to date with the up coming events.
Wish me luck ! XoX
Goodnight my readers!
Actually, come to think of it, Matt is pretty cheap when it comes to me and very half assed about everything he does. He kind of flys by the whim of his pants when it comes to me and the things he plans. My birthday was basically planned by me, and even though I enjoyed it, it was very sudden and not thought out. For the love of God I cooked dinner for us that night.
Should this be bothering me as much as it does? Well let me tell you why. So I found out that he use to buy her movies and stuff, you know, things that she enjoyed and liked. Probably cheap 5-10 dollar movies, but it's the thought that counts. Well here's the thing. He buys me absolutely NOTHING at all!
You see, I'm more of a video gamer versus a movie lover, although I do love the odd movie here and there. Explain to me how I have a tab with Matt? Yes, a tab. Two weeks ago there was a video game I wanted that was on sale and Matt works at Best Buy, so he also gets deals and discounts. He is very aware of the games I play but that's besides the point. So anyways, I had asked him to pick up the game for me, so he did. Tell me how he presents me with the BILL afterwards! Yes ladies and gents, he makes me pay him back for everything and keeps track of what he spends.
It gets better though. When we go out for lunch, or what ever, he keeps track of what he pays for so I get the next thing we decide to do. Whats better then that? He purposely grabs the cheaper bills and lets me pay for the more expensive outings! Yah. Buddy your cheap.
Let's top that shall we? When he decides to go on outings or adventures that he plans and invites me too, he makes sure we go halves! Yes! Here let me give you an example!
He planned a day to go to Bronte creek which is basically just a, well, a creek..
You basically just have to pay for parking there and like 2 dollars a person to enter the pool area. Parking is like 15 bucks and yah 4 dollars in total for the both of us to get into the pool.
He splits the bill in half!!! Buddy! You freaking planed the day and invited me! And you make me pay? What the F#$@!!!
He does this with everything... Everything!!
He was never like that with his ex girlfriend and this is starting to piss me off!
Like who am I ? Your friend or your girlfriend? Start treating me like one!
Look, I'm not one to be pampered, ever, and to be completely honest, I'm very simple and usually enjoy the little things in life, like scenery, walks, nature, drives, staying in and playing video games, watching tv or movies. I'm not about money but this is getting ridiculous! Let me add that I actually hate being paid for all the time and actually like paying for the bill once in awhile, I'm fair and I'm not a cheap person. Come to think of it, at the start of our relationship I would always be the one to pull out the wallet to make a gesture that " I've got this." Maybe a little too much? Now it's like he waits to see if I will take initiative to pay for whatever we are doing or getting all the time. He will just stare at me and then when I hesitate he will grab his wallet and say,
" I'll grab this then, you grab the next"
Like the bill is 15 dollars! And to boot it's mostly cause of him! He orders like a triple combo and I get the sandwich by itself! Mine costs 4 with tax and his is like 13 or 14! Da FUK!
Guess what the "next" thing is? Maybe a movie or something that usually costs between both of us 35 dollars!!! Yep! I get the expensive bill. Son of Bitch!
In the grand scheme of things, I am a female and would like to feel special and thought of. I'm not asking for a pandora bracelet for the love of Moses! But small considerate things would be nice.
Come on! He took us to a drive in movie theater in Oakvill that costed like 20 bucks for the both of us, and he made me pay for my half! WTF!
Why is this such a big deal after a year you ask? Where does this all come from out of no where? It didn't seem like a concern before.
Well, guess what ladies and gents, February is just around the corner. Not only is it the month of Valentines Day but also our one year anniversary!
Let me mention the fact that I'm broke since work is slow, I still haven't decided if I'm renewing my car insurance or parking her. *sigh* Stressed out right now...
I can't wait to see what he DOESN'T do for me.. Or what he half asses and pays nothing for. If this happens, so help me God I am making a stink! This has gone too far and I deserve way more then this!
Especially because he went all out with his last ex girlfriend.... Hotels, expensive restaurants, limos, reservations! Did I mention that this was all for her birthday that was a few months after they first met? Yah... I'm getting sick of it.
if you read my "relaxing birthday weekend" back in 2012, it was spent at his house, making dinner for the both of us, going to a Starbucks, a house set up with Christmas lights, and a drive to Niagara Falls to look at the festival of lights. Which is all free! Except the 3 dollar coffee from Starbucks.. Maybe gas, I forgot about that. Yep... *Sigh*
I'm a hard working female who doesn't have alot to show for it because I don't get to buy things for myself or go places when ever I want. I have responsibilities, I am not whimsical, I'm practical, and for the love of God, I deserve to be spoiled once in a freaking while!
I will keep you posted and up to date with the up coming events.
Wish me luck ! XoX
Goodnight my readers!
Friday, 18 January 2013
Dilemma! Need Help!
Okay here is my dilemma;
Now this is where it gets difficult. I work 2 jobs but neither of them at the moment are providing me enough cash flow to be paying over 7-800 dollars a month. Between the car being about 500, my health insurance, my phone bills, and gas, will kill me. I won't be able to save money or be able to do or buy anything for myself at all. Basically working to pay bills... Well that's not right.
Now let me explain the pros of the car. One of my jobs is in an area where the bus does not go unless you pay double fair. That and the fact the buses that go down that route take forever and are never accurate. This will screw with my time. Also, this is an on-call job, obviously a car sounds reasonable to have right?
Okay let's go on to reason 2. The car gives me flexibility to come and go as I please. Whether it be for work, or leisure, the car saves me time and makes my life a bit easier. Except for the amount of money this thing consumes. God.
Lets talk about the bus pass. Accessible to all of Toronto, cheap monthly cost, a big money saver if you ask me.
That's cool, why does the bus pass have cons? Relying on other people to be on time so that I can be on time. The weather, standing outside in the rain,snow freezing cold, or blistering hot. Like the smell of B.O? I know I sure don't.
Save money and kill my time?
Kill my wallet and save time?
What to do what to do?!? I'm going to stress be stressed out either way!
I need to sleep on it.. I have work tomorrow ... Gosh.
I'll explain more tomorrow on how this will destroy my relationship and a whole lot more.
Nighty night! Xox
my car insurance expires in February on the 6th, I have 2 weeks left to decide on what I am going to do. Renew or park the car and get a bus pass?
Now this is where it gets difficult. I work 2 jobs but neither of them at the moment are providing me enough cash flow to be paying over 7-800 dollars a month. Between the car being about 500, my health insurance, my phone bills, and gas, will kill me. I won't be able to save money or be able to do or buy anything for myself at all. Basically working to pay bills... Well that's not right.
Now let me explain the pros of the car. One of my jobs is in an area where the bus does not go unless you pay double fair. That and the fact the buses that go down that route take forever and are never accurate. This will screw with my time. Also, this is an on-call job, obviously a car sounds reasonable to have right?
Okay let's go on to reason 2. The car gives me flexibility to come and go as I please. Whether it be for work, or leisure, the car saves me time and makes my life a bit easier. Except for the amount of money this thing consumes. God.
Lets talk about the bus pass. Accessible to all of Toronto, cheap monthly cost, a big money saver if you ask me.
That's cool, why does the bus pass have cons? Relying on other people to be on time so that I can be on time. The weather, standing outside in the rain,snow freezing cold, or blistering hot. Like the smell of B.O? I know I sure don't.
Save money and kill my time?
Kill my wallet and save time?
What to do what to do?!? I'm going to stress be stressed out either way!
I need to sleep on it.. I have work tomorrow ... Gosh.
I'll explain more tomorrow on how this will destroy my relationship and a whole lot more.
Nighty night! Xox
Thursday, 17 January 2013
De-stress Me Please
I haven't written a blog in 2 days now which is okay because I was taking a 2 day vacation!
Where might you ask? Matt's house...
Yep, It's pretty sad when you refer to going from one house to another a vacation. Well if you lived at my house, you would totally understand why!
On Tuesday after my last two blogs, you would have noticed that me and Matt were fighting.. Why? I still don't know. The fight lasted 2 days and I hadn't seen him in 3.
I couldn't sleep, I was a stress ball... Ugh! Why do I need him around me so much! The sad part is he know's it too.
"Don't fight it babe, it doesn't help you"
So Tuesday after work... If you can call it work... 4 people? ...Stupid B!@# of a boss!
Anyways, he met up afterwards with me at work, we drove back to my place so I could change out of my work clothes and went back to his.
We had to pick up his little brother Miki from school and headed home. His mom had been making dinner and was now baking some Jewish cinnamon bread. I played with Miki and talked with his mom while Matt showered.
So sadly Matt's aunt has undergone surgery for stomach cancer last week on Thursday. She was doing well till Tuesday night where Matt's cousin Lina had texted his mom telling her that the aunt now has an "infarction."
Infarction: In medical terminology means death of tissue or (necrosis) which is caused by an obstruction or blockage of the tissues blood supply. This leads to localized lack of oxygen.
Yah...not pretty.So she has sadly taken a turn for the worst and yesterday afternoon had to be rushed to surgery again to treat the area that is blocked. We are now waiting to find out how everything went and if she's doing better now.
So back to Tuesday night, we were talking about this, which is pretty depressing. Matt's dad came home and we all ate dinner. Lasagna was on the menu tonight and it was amazing! I was then invited to dinner again for Wednesday night, Mindy was making cod fish and she knew how much I love cod so she made sure to add that into her invite. Of COURSE I accepted!
After dinner, dishes, coffee and talking, we all sat down and watched Tv together where I had finally passed out on Matt's lap while he played a game on his laptop. I was exhausted!! I had absolutely no sleep the night before. Half an hour I slept on him until he decided that we should go downstairs and sleep there. He went down while I was still talking to his mom, he made our floor bed to which I joined him shortly after. "Matt and me time" lasted lasted two hours together before we both decided we need to get some sleep.
I slept for 8 hours that night!
Day two or yesterday was the same, picked up Miki from school, headed back to his house, dinner, talking, coffee and no Tv?
Nope, not tonight. Matt rushed us downstairs early, it was 8:50 when we went downstairs. We played video games for 3 hours and then Matt decided it was bed time pretty early too. 11:15 we were in bed already and by 1 am we were out for the count. I had a really good two days to recoup from the 3 horrible days I had without him.
*Sigh* I love that boy.
Work time! Wish me luck that I don't strangle her today.
Ciao!
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
You Are My Rock
After fighting me tooth and nail yesterday for hours, we got off the phone at 12:20 am.
I couldn't sleep, tossing and turning till 3:45 am. You made me promise that if I couldn't sleep to call you. So I did.
The phone rang 4 times before you answered.
"*pout noise*"
"hmm"
"I can't sleep.....sleep with me?"
"Mhmm"
I heard you breathing and usually that's enough for me to pass out. But it didn't work. My mind was still racing a mile a minute.
We ended up talking instead until I realized it was hopeless, I wasn't going to fall asleep. I let you go back to bed and I end up passing out 2 hours later.
I'm awake now, dying, can't see straight, too exhausted to drive to work. I can only count down the hours till I return home.
Sleep with me later?
I couldn't sleep, tossing and turning till 3:45 am. You made me promise that if I couldn't sleep to call you. So I did.
The phone rang 4 times before you answered.
"*pout noise*"
"hmm"
"I can't sleep.....sleep with me?"
"Mhmm"
I heard you breathing and usually that's enough for me to pass out. But it didn't work. My mind was still racing a mile a minute.
We ended up talking instead until I realized it was hopeless, I wasn't going to fall asleep. I let you go back to bed and I end up passing out 2 hours later.
I'm awake now, dying, can't see straight, too exhausted to drive to work. I can only count down the hours till I return home.
Sleep with me later?
Monday, 14 January 2013
Blow Up!
Okay well, where to start?..
Me and Matt haven't seen each other in 2 days now, today being day 3 and he is turning into a giant ass-hole.
For some reason if we go for more then a day without seeing each other he picks fights. He starts to accuse me of NOT caring cause it doesn't bother me....Okay?
How about I don't need to see you everyday to prove I care about you? Like wtf?
"Sorry it bothers me when I don't see the person I love for more then a day." ....STOP
Just STOP being freaking obsessive with having to see me all the time! You are starting to sound and act like my ex boyfriend and that freaking annoys me!
Anyway's... He's been fighting me all day and yesterday about this. Yesterday I didn't feel like going out AT all. Is that a crime? No, didn't think so. APPARENTLY that means I don't care though cause me 'not wanting to go out' should be overruled by my dying urge to see you....? HUH?
UGH! I love you, I really do, alot for that matter. But PLEASE! Stop with the 'I don't care" business cause you are starting to sound like the person that pissed you off. Your ex. Yes that's right. You told me you HATED when she would use that "You don't love me" bullshit.
God I'm so annoyed!
To make it worse we barely spoken all day today and that makes him even more pissed. But I've been busy!!! I'm finishing my case studies for the love of Moses!
I need to invest in a punching bag...any thoughts?
Breaking out means I'm stressing which means I'm going to start putting weight on again.
Yikes!
Me and Matt haven't seen each other in 2 days now, today being day 3 and he is turning into a giant ass-hole.
For some reason if we go for more then a day without seeing each other he picks fights. He starts to accuse me of NOT caring cause it doesn't bother me....Okay?
How about I don't need to see you everyday to prove I care about you? Like wtf?
"Sorry it bothers me when I don't see the person I love for more then a day." ....STOP
Just STOP being freaking obsessive with having to see me all the time! You are starting to sound and act like my ex boyfriend and that freaking annoys me!
Anyway's... He's been fighting me all day and yesterday about this. Yesterday I didn't feel like going out AT all. Is that a crime? No, didn't think so. APPARENTLY that means I don't care though cause me 'not wanting to go out' should be overruled by my dying urge to see you....? HUH?
UGH! I love you, I really do, alot for that matter. But PLEASE! Stop with the 'I don't care" business cause you are starting to sound like the person that pissed you off. Your ex. Yes that's right. You told me you HATED when she would use that "You don't love me" bullshit.
God I'm so annoyed!
To make it worse we barely spoken all day today and that makes him even more pissed. But I've been busy!!! I'm finishing my case studies for the love of Moses!
I need to invest in a punching bag...any thoughts?
Breaking out means I'm stressing which means I'm going to start putting weight on again.
Yikes!
Sunday, 13 January 2013
Cuba 2012
I know, who decides to write about something that happen like 3-4 months ago? Alot of people do! So with that being said, here is my 7 day story that took place in Cuba from Oct 26th to Nov 2nd that changed my life.
Here we go...
Sept 22nd 2012
Matt and myself were at his house at the dinner table on his laptop.
Matt - "I wanna go away somewhere...I have a week off in October and then in December."
Me - "okay.... What do you have in mind?"
Matt - *opens Internet window and types in redtag.ca* " let's check prices for Cuba."
So we check and end up finding this really good deal for 7 days in Varadero Cuba, at the Mercure Playa De Oro 4 stars, all inclusive, for $345 with 290 air taxes. Amazing right?!
Matt pulls out his credit card and books the trip. I kept silent the whole time. I couldn't believe this was happening.
Are we really going away?
On vacation?
Together? Alone?
Am I really doing this!?!
Am I dreaming?!?
No! I'm not dreaming! This is real!
Matt - "Alright, it's official... We Are Going To Cuba!!!"
He turned to his mom right away and told her, she was already listening though and was happy for us. We both deserve it.
I freaked out, couldn't believe this was actually happening. The tickets were booked! Seats were chosen I'm going to Cuba!!!
For some reason I'm writing this with lacklustre but I swear it picks up! I find this to be a small introduction. Besides at this point reality hadn't hit me yet.
I'm going to take a big lead forward to October the 20th when it finally did.
Me - "Matt, we have 6 days left. I have nothing packed, I don't know what to bring and I'm freaking out!!!"
Freaking out was an understatement. I was having full blown anxiety attacks. Sleeping wasn't an option anymore either since it became impossible.
You see, this was the first time I was going on vacation. Well that's a lie, I went to Portugal for 3 weeks with my best friend and her family, but this was way different.
A boyfriend, whom I haven't been dating even a year, in a third world country, for a week! Without family?!? This was too spontaneous for me and I wasn't doing well with the pressure.
You see, my life at the time was a circus. My mother 2 months prior just had hip surgery. She had fallen and broken her hip. How did she fall? From drinking. But that's a whole other story on it's own.
Not only was I having family problems but my car kept falling apart. Flat tire, casket leak, you name it, Roxy had it. Money was an issue at the time since I was having issues at work... Kinda like I am right now. Bitch boss = No clients = No $ ... *sigh*
But this is supposed to be a happy story, so let's move on.
Despite everything that could possibly go wrong, my stress levels were going through the roof.
Me and Matt would get into 2-3 arguments a day. I take full responsibility of course. Especially when I would use lines like;
"Why am I bothering to go with you anyways?! All we are going to do is fight!"
Or
"What if something bad happens to us?"
He hates when I have negative thoughts about our relationship ....
... This wasn't true, not all we do is fight.It was my stress that was causing problems. I knew that and so did he.
He put up with alot of my crap and I couldn't thank him more for sticking by me. It definitely isn't easy being with me. I consider it more of a full time job...
October 26th came ever so fast. We had gone shopping finally in-between us both working and Matt's schooling. We do so well together that thinking about it makes me smile. We get things done fast and agree on everything together. *Sigh*
October 25th 9 pm, we finally had everything and were ready to pack before we got some shut eye.
"Matt it's still not going to fit! We need a bigger suitcase!"
"Ugh! It will fit! Just let me do it!"
"Okay if you say so... We are going to need a bigger suitcase... Just watch"
"Just go to sleep, we have a long day ahead of us. I'll finish up and then join you."
Shut eye? HA! It was 2:15 am when Matt decides that I was right and we needed a bigger suitcase. Of course! Why listen to me in the first place?
After 2 hours of us arguing about the dumb bag, I finally couldn't stay awake any longer and went to sit on the couch where I immediately passed out.
Matt unfortunately, stayed up and repackage everything in 2 separate suitcases cause 1 wasn't going to handle both of our crap. Besides, we also had alot of "gifts" for the people we would encountered in Cuba. Toiletries, toys, clothes, yep, a vacation and humanitarian trip. We were proud.
Matt got no sleep at all as were I got 2 and a half. 4:30 am rolls around and it's time for us to get a move on since our flight is at 6:25 am.
Matt's dad gives us a ride to the airport were he drops us off at the departure area.
Hugs and goodbyes are exchanged and the good ol'
"Have a good time and be safe" are enforced.
We proceed to check in, security and all that jazz till we get to the waiting area. We eat a $20 sandwich that tasted like shit for breakfast before boarding.
"All passengers boarding for flight to Veredro Cuba please proceed to line up"
Okay well obviously not worded like that, but you get it!
At this point I'm shitting bricks!
"Why am I doing this? Why!? Why?! Why?!"
"Oh would you relax!"
"AHHH"
We find our seats, put away our carry on, and sit down. At this point I am about to have an anxiety attack. Matt grabs my hand and looks me in the eyes...
"Do you not want to do this with me?"
"...Of course I do...I'm just scared.."
He smiles...."Everything will be okay," he kisses my hand, "I promise."
I smile back... He always knows how to calm me down.
"Just close your eyes and get some more sleep, we have a full day ahead of us when we land. It will only be a three hour flight."
"Okay:"
So we lifted the arm rests and curled up together and fell asleep. Every so often we would wake up cause the captain would make an announcement about a land mark or something that was interesting to look out the window for. He was really good, informative and the flight was perfect! Absolutely no turbulence!
Three hours flew by and we were getting ready to land in Cuba!
It was 9:15 am when we landed. I was so excited! I just kept turning to Matt and squealing like a little pig!
We landed and well you know the protocol of everything after, go through customs and claim luggage. Smooth sailing from there, everything was pretty fast and we were on the bus that would take us to our resort in no time.
The ride through Havana city was awesome, our spokesperson from Signature Vacations was very informative and funny. The only thing I will never forget from that bus ride was this older man, maybe in his 50's just being a class clown on the bus. Yelling, drinking beer, chatting up everyone about everything. Also, these four younger guys that were also on our bus going to more of a "party" resort. They were talking with the older man for the whole bus ride. We were sitting behind them.
Our stop finally! Oh My Gosh! The place looked gorgeous!
You see, we did plenty of research that I didn't mention before, but we settled with this one over the others. The ratings and feedback weren't the best on it, but we decided it was our first time, we will learn from it. Most of the negative feedback was about the food and the look or cleanlinesses of the hotel and resort. Apparently it needed renovations?
Needless to say in both our opinions or experience, the place was perfect! Looked amazing and right up our ally. The only thing was everything was soaked due to the fact a hurricane had just blown through no more then 12 hours ago. But, the groundsmen were already on top of it and cleaning. By day two the resort was dry and spotless.
The first thing we do is check in and put our luggage aside since we couldn't do anything till 12 pm. That's when the room would be available for us to check in. We found the bell-hopper and right away Matt started to use his self taught Spanish language. Yes, he had taught himself to speak Spanish! AMAZING!
We automatically made friends with the bell-hopper who's name was Pedro. He was so nice and took great care of us.
To make a long story a little shorter, we ended up grabbing a drink or 2 and exploring the resort and the beach to kill time. We ended up back at the bar and running into this other Canadian couple who came from the St. Catherine's area. We talked, shared some laughs and they shared some horror stories of their room that the just got 20 minutes before they came to the bar.
"We have like ants in our bed," she said. "And the room smells weird and is freezing!"
They actually gave us a tour to their room and showed us what the room looked like. It was kinda run down looking and there was an odour. They were on the first floor though and their balcony was surrounded by soaking wet plants. Of course there would be a musky smell.
We toured the beach and had lunch with them. We realized it was now 3 pm and we forgot about our room check in and luggage.
What? Our stuff is already in our room?
Pedro had taken it upon himself to bring our stuff to our room! And then offered us a ride there in the carts! Is this happening?!? Top service and to make it even better....we ended up getting a room on the second floor with ocean view! We didn't pay for that!!! 1110 was the number of our room, I will never forget that number.
Our room was fairly clean, the bathroom needed a bit more, but everything was taken care of the second day. We were satisfied.
The first day flew by, we hung out mostly with the Canadian couple we met. This only happen the first day though. They became weird and both kinda just kept our distance and became more acquaintances. We ended going to the beach late at night before we went to bed that night. We settled in by 11:30 pm so we could start the second day fresh.
We talked and cuddled and watched Tv till we passed out. We didn't have many channels and for the most part they were all in Spanish. Bein Sport was a station we left it on that always gave soccer games. I got accustomed to falling asleep to this;
"Goalllllllllllllllllllllllllllll oooooooooooooooo"
*Infamous laser noises*
***
Oct 27th, Day 2
"Matt! Matt! Wake up!!! The sun is out! Let's go!!"
"ugggh... What time is it?"
"7:30! Lets go!"
"Noooooooo" *Covers head with pillow*
Yep! I was excited and ready to go, running around the room grabbing things I would need for the day yelling and throwing things at Matt every so often to get him up. We had agreed on waking up at 9 everyday and set alarms just incase. We didn't need one though since I was up everyday at 7:30 am like clockwork :)
"Let me sleep!"
"No! Sleep when your dead! Let's go!"
Everyday was like this and a giant battle to get Matt out of bed.
Breakfast and beach was the routine we adapted everyday, lunch was just snacks we would get from the bar by the pool. We lounged and drank and slept on the beach for 5-6 hours a day.
This vacation really was for R and R.
Today wasn't just any day though, today would be the day that our relationship changed!
It was 9 pm, we had just finished having dinner and we had made it back to our room. We sat on the bed and just laughed and giggled about the stupidest and smallest things.
"... *sigh*... You"
"... You? What does that even mean?"
"... You means you.." He laughs and hides his face.
"... No! Tell me what you means! I wanna know since you always say it!"
After 10 mins of him just turning red, hiding his face and saying;
"I can't tell you"
I gave up and decided I wanted to go for a walk.
He ended up leading us to the beach.
It was fresh, and crisp, the moon was high and bright in the sky just shimmering over the rough ocean. The smell of the sea was intense, the waves were loud and obnoxious. It was gorgeous, just breaking.
We stopped for a second, just staring at eachother. Both quiet, not saying a word. Just listening to the ocean waves.
He touched my face and moved the hair that was blown in my face by the wind from the ocean.
He cupped my face in his hands and stared into my eyes. He smiled and kissed my nose then pulled me closer and hugged me tight.
He was making me nervous, my heart was racing. He kept exhaling heavily and sighing alot.
Was this it? Was he going to finally tell me how he felt?!?
"There's something I have been wanting to tell you for sometime now... I just don't know how you will react..."
Yep! I knew it! It was coming! I've been hoping he would tell me soon, for a while now actually. Guess it sort of is my fault that he hasn't seeing as how I fear mongered him into NOT saying it unless he meant it.
I would tell him how much I hated the words 'I love you' being thrown around. So obviously he was nervous.
He was taking so long to spit it out! I was getting frustrated! But I kept composure till he did.
"I ... * gibberish*"
".... What?!... What did you say?"
His face dropped! He looked so disappointed! But I didn't hear him! It was so windy and the waves were so intense plus the fact he practically whispered it!
".... What's wrong Matt? Why do you look like that?"
"Why did you make that face?"
"I didn't hear what you said, that's why"
He gasped and pulled me away to look at me in the eyes;
"... I said I love you..."
".... I love you too"
He smiled, sighed and kissed me. My heart was racing and his hands were shaking. We stood there in the same spot for another 5 minutes just staring at eachother.
We finally decided that we were getting cold. That and the fact we could taste the salt off eachother and my hair smelled like ocean mist and was all tangled. So much for showering...
Before we left Canada Matt had promised me to go to the club with me at least two times while we were there, so tonight we decided would be one of those nights.
We went around 11:30 pm, it was dead at first but picked up pretty fast. We had so much fun, just being with eachother and dancing like no one was watching, although everyone was. We decided to leave around 1:45 am, showered and went to bed. Our relationship had taken a step forward, but it wasn't the words themselves that grounded that. It's what was to come a day later.
The only thing that was different was Matt got a hold of Cuban cigars and well, lets just say I wanted to try them too. I had never smoked a cigar before and was interested in trying. Come to think of it, I haven't smoked anything before so of course I was curious! Especially since we were in CUBA!
Well! Let's just say that it's all fun and games till someone gets hurt..Mainly me...
Time flew by and it ended up being 9:16 pm. We showered and got dressed to go down to the bar in the lobby for some social time. This is where the night gets interesting.
Matt and myself had already been indulging in drinks for a good two hours now.
We made friends with the two female bartenders that night as well as so many others. We took pictures and ended up mingled with two Canadian women we came across. One of them thought she was the queen of Britain! They were so cute!
Few more drinks later I had to pee! So I took a trip to the wash room. I felt fine, not drunk but warm and tingly, happy, confident. Anyways, I did my business and was washing my hands when this Russian woman came out of the stall trying to adjust her top. She was drunk! You could tell. She walked over to me by the sink and started laughing, she needed help with her bra strap, so I helped. She couldn't speak English, only Russian but somehow we were able to communicate.
She attempted to explain to me in hand language that her flight was at 11:30 am, which I finally understood after the fifth attempt. She grabbed my hand and started running with me to her table. Matt who was still talking to the queen of Britain (the Canadians) spotted me and decided to join in.
"Drink Drink", said mother Russia.
This woman was huge! She was sitting at a table that consisted of 5 other Russians, a French man, and now a Portuguese when Matt joined.
She gave me one of those plastic cups which happen to be full of vodka that was already at her table, there were 5 more where that came from! I drank the one she gave me, Matt had one of the other ones and the rest of them polished the others off before going to get another round.
I recall only having the one she initially gave me, Matt told me I had 4 more afterwards. I don't remember any of this...
I must of already been long gone after the first drink and the drinks prior to joining their table.
Everything from here on is what Matt told me happened, I unfortunately do not remember anything at all no matter how hard I try.
This is the day my life changed...
"Are you sure you should be drinking that? You've already had 2"
"Ya! I'm fine!"
2 shots more and 20 minutes later...
"I'm going to the bathroom"
....This is were I get up and fall instantly to the floor beside the bar according to Matt.
The Russian woman grabs me and starts shaking me and slaps me 3 times to wake me up. I'm dragged the the bathroom and put in a stall where I do my business and fall out of the stall, not decently I might add. The russian woman immediately had Matt come in and fix me up, pull up my underwear and stuff.
The Russian men at the table had to carry me back to our hotel room. Matt couldn't do it cause for one he has a bad back, two he was just as drunk, and three well, I'm dead weight.
Back at the hotel room I'm loosing consciousness. Blacking out, slurring, not making sense anymore. Matt gets worried and decides that he should try and make me throw up the alcohol. This doesn't work seeing as I end up biting his finger and hurting him, drawing blood. He still continues to try and force his fingers down my throat to make me vomit. Trying to control my head isn't easy so I end up smashing my head around.
Matt at this point is scared, my eyes are rolling backwards into my head and I'm not communicating anymore. He props me up on the toilet in a puke position with my arms crossed under my head on the toilet seat and on my knees. I looked stable so he took off quickly to the lobby to have them call an ambulance.
On his way back to the room he spots me falling as he enters the room. From here all hell breaks loose...
I had fallen and smashed my head extremely hard on the floor. So hard that I ended up passed out.
Yes ladies and gents, I was now passed out with alcohol poisoning.
The ambulance arrived and took me to a nearby clinic of theirs in the city that is like a hospital. Matt never left my side, scared and crying he held my hand in the back of the ambulance. The ride was 20 minutes. Matt tells me that the whole entire ride to the hospital I could only mutter one thing...
"I LUVV YOU"
Now imagine this being screamed in a drunken Mexican voice for 20 minutes none stop. Yep, that was me...
Just before we reach the hospital is where the most scariest thing happens... I slipped into a comma... Between the concussion and alcohol poisoning, my system shut down.
8...
8 hours...
8 hours of waiting....
Will she wake up?
I can't imagine how Matt felt, nor do I ever want too..
The nurses told him all we can do now is wait. Wait for me to wake up. If she wakes up, the worst is over.
IV's, 2 injections, they tried to flush me out.
I urinated myself 5 times. All of which were on Matt since he put his head next to my leg.
Yes I had urinated on my boyfriend and he's still with me... That's love.
He was disgustingly sick from all the drinking, he was just as drunk. He made himself puke over 6 times to try and get the alcohol out of himself. He tried focusing on my breathing the whole time that the nurses told him that he doesn't have to check my pulse to know I'm breathing, just check to see my chest rising.
8 hours of excruciating waiting. He cried so much that day... Nurses and other people at the hospital had to calm him down multiple times.
*Beep..... Beep.... Beep*
The sound of the machinery I was hooked up to... My eyes finally opened.
The first thing I see is Matt's face, red, swollen and puffy eyes as if he had been crying...
*Giant sigh* "NURSE! NURSE! SHES AWAKE!" *Matt screamed in Spanish*
".... Where am I?"
"don't move babe, you'll pull out the intravenous"
".. What's wrong Matt? Why are you crying? Where am I? What happened?!"
I was freezing, shaking, and started panicking... I wasn't getting answers as to what was going on. The only thing that was being said to me was to calm down and for me to not move.
My face hurt and felt swollen, my feet felt numb and I could barely feel them. I tried to wiggle my toes but had barely any strength.
The smell of urine was potent. It made me nauseous.
"Matt! Answer me please! What happened?!?"
I started to cry...
"I'll explain everything after when we get back to the hotel baby I promise just please try and stay still"
He broke down crying... This scared me even more.
He walked out of the room to pay for the services provided. Over 200 pesos were spent that night..
I was then taken off the table and placed in a wheelchair..There was a car waiting for us. I was weak but able to walk so I got in the car myself.
In the car Matt spoke to the driver in Spanish as I sat in the back-seat just thinking to myself.
I could of died....I wouldn't of even known.... I didn't feel or hear anything. I wasn't aware of anything that happened..I didn't even dream...
The last thing I had remembered was looking across the table at Matt. He was smiling and laughing and speaking in French to the only French man that was there. We were supposed to go to the club that night...I remember looking at him and saying;
"Are we still going to the club?"
"Why? This is so much more fun!"
...That was it.....After that, the last thing was waking up in the hospital looking at him, with tears in his eyes. What happened?
We arrived at the resort, weak and disoriented I made my way back to the hotel room.
"Stay here, just change and lie down, try to avoid bending over please. I need to go pay the cab driver."
I had a very bad concussion. I had smashed the left side of my head really bad when I fell in the bathroom. Not to mention all the other times I smashed my head around that night. I had no balance, could barely stand or walk a straight line. I couldn't focus, my vision was blurred and my face was bruised and in alot of pain, my bottom lip was busted and swollen. Body covered in bruises and bumps. What the hell did I do to myself!?!
"Matt! Please don't leave me! I'm scared!" I started crying.
"Baby I promise I'll be right back, I wont take long, just lie down and I will be with you soon." He kissed my forehead and then left.
I had to use the wash room so I went. While sitting on the toilet I put my head down on my hands... I got extremely disoriented and almost fell off the toilet. No wonder he said not to bend over...
Three minutes later the concussion started to get the best of me,I started panicking and started yelling out for Matt. I lay down on the bed but the room was spinning.
"Matt! Matt!" .. I opened the door and stood in the hallway and cried out for him again.
"Matt! Where are you?!" .. I started to cry. I was confused and scared.
I went to the railing near the staircase and stood there for 5 minutes just waiting for him, but nothing.
Too disoriented to use the stairs I just sat down on the steps and wept. I wanted Matt with me and I wanted to go home.
Pacing back and forth, he was taking forever...
20 minutes later I couldn't take it any more, leaving the hotel room door open, I made my way down the stairs, and down the pathway to the lobby. It must have been around 8 am because people were starting to come out. Grounds men cleaning and the pool boy watched me frantically head for the lobby entrance with tears in my eyes and my Pjs on.
As I approached the stairway that led to the lobby I saw Matt come through the doors. I yelled his name and started running towards him crying. He ran towards me and grabbed me.
"What are you doing here? Why are you out of the room? I told you to stay!"
"You left me! Why did you leave me! For so long!"
He sighed and hugged me tight...
"I had to go with them to the bank cause the money exchanger person wasn't open yet here. I'm so sorry baby"
Helping me keep my balance, we walked back to the room.
It was about 8:45 am, sun wasn't really out just yet and it was pretty windy.
"You are going to bed until you wear this off. I don't care how long this takes, I'm staying with you in bed."
I didn't want to stay in bed all day, but I was so exhausted a I felt like death. But I was starving!
"Let's go get breakfast first, then we can go back and sleep."
He agreed.
We got changed and headed to the restaurant for breakfast. We ended up running into the group of Russians that had helped me last night. They all asked me if I was okay and Matt told them I was hospitalized. We also ran into our Cuban mommy, yes let me introduce her.
She was one of the waitresses in the restaurant who looked out for us and we did the same in return by giving her stuff for her grand kids. We had met so many nice people, we were definitely lucky. They all were concerned with my well being which was really nice. We also ran into Mother Russia who had been drinking vodka from the morning to kill her hangover? The hell !?
After breakfast we then decided to visit the nurse on site....El Capitan Useless might I add...She knew nothing and didn't help a bit.
Back at the room we ended up going to bed. Matt and I talked for a bit before I passed out. He explained some stuff to me but could never completely finish because he would start to cry.
The topic of love came up, probably because two days prior he had confessed his love for me. I believe at some point while I was babbling I questioned if he really did love me or if he just thought he did..
His words to me were;
"I do love you, I know with all my heart I love you. If I had any doubt or questioned it at all, last night had made it all clear to me. The thought of loosing you killed me. The thought of returning home without you slipped my mind. If something would of happened to you, I would return with you, but not alive."
My heart was content, and wrapped up in his arms I feel asleep.I slept for 4 hours, which was good. Took me awhile to go to sleep since I was delirious. Every time I closed my eyes the room would spin.
When I woke up it was around 2 pm. When I got up, I felt like I was going to die! I wanted to go home! Matt made some phone calls to Sunwing to try and book an early flight home but they rejected unless I would go to a hospital and get cleared okay to fly. So basically this is what we did.
We called for a taxi to take us back to the hospital we came from earlier that morning. We negotiated 25 back and forth. Unfortunately, the hospital only had a head X-ray which wasn't going to help at all so we had to get a doctors note to be sent to the hospital in the city of Varadero for a CT scan. We were so fortunate to have found such a kind hearted taxi driver who then negotiated 50 back and forth, which is actually dirt cheap seeing as this was almost an hour drive.
When we arrived there, the doctor had examined my head and signs and symptoms but was not able to perform a CT scan since their machine was broken. This meant I had to be sent to another hospital which was in the city of Matanza, even farther then the last one, another hour and a half drive. The taxi driver left the price at the same amount. Honestly this man was an angel.
Finally arrived there at around 6 pm. The driver stayed with us the whole time, taking care of me and making sure we didn't get taken advantaged off. Surprisingly, all the doctors, nurses, and surgeons we met there that took care of me spoke English and Spanish. This calmed my nerves and made my concussion symptoms a whole lot better. The worst was yet to come but before I explain what happen next, I want to describe to you what the hospital looked like.
Aren't you lucky to be living in a country where healthcare is a high priority. Please ladies and gents, DO NOT I repeat, DO NOT complain about our healthcare system.
The hospital I visited was run down, half of the walls had collapsed, and it reeked of sickness. The surgical tables or beds whatever they are were metal and were covered by a single sheet that was covered in blood stains. I'm not even kidding, it was really bad. The bed beside me had a drunken doped up man handcuffed to the bed and the only bathroom they had for patients was a small hole in the wall with a broken door, toilet had no seat, was backed-up , and the floor was torn apart and covered in piss. Not to mention there was no lighting in the bathroom since the electrical wires and cords were sizzling and hanging from the ceiling. Yah..comforting...
It was finally time for me to have my CT scan.... This was a terrifying experience for me. Let me elaborate; the door to the scanning room was a large metal garage door that had to be lifted from the ground...The room inside was made out of wood so it kind of reassembled a sauna. The people who were performing the scan only spoke in Spanish so I couldn't communicate with them at all, which made me nervous. Thank God for Matt and our taxi driver, seriously.
The scan was torture due to the concussion screwing around with my equilibrium. The entire time it felt like I was doing 360's in the machine. Finally it was over! My brain was fine thank God. Just a really bad concussion. Phew!
The CT Scan costed us another 300 something pesos...Which we couldn't pay for at the time since they didn't take Visa. They negotiated to come to our resort the next day at 2 pm to collect the money. This ended up being a mission and a half since the money exchange place in the resort for no apparent reason shut down? Okay? So they had to pick us up and take us to the bank. Everything was paid for and taken care of the next day.
When we finally arrived back to the resort it was 11:12 pm, we had wasted a whole day hospital jumping. We thanked the taxi driver graciously for his amazing services and the time he dedicated to us. He even stopped off at a gas station and bought us beverages. Yah! I know right?! We gave him some toiletries and clothes for his daughter. We grabbed a quick bite to eat and went back to the hotel. I was beat and needed to sleep it off.
The sad part was Matt blamed himself for all of this and every time we talked about it he would cry... This hurt me alot....
"I shouldn't of left you in the room by yourself, I shouldn't of trusted you by yourself without falling over." This is what he would repeat daily...
Me and Matt also made a vow that day to never drink again, and we didn't.
During the two last days we exchanged emails and addresses with the Russians and with our Cuban mommy.
We departed around 11:46 pm and Matt and myself went to the club. We were there for about an hour and a half before we decided that we should get some rest since we have to be up early for our 9 am flight back to Toronto. That and I probably shouldn't over do it with my concussion and all.
We went back to the hotel room, changed and went immediately to sleep.
The flight home was dreadful due to my head injury, so much pressure and pain and my ears were killing!
We slept most of the flight home and arrived back in Toronto at 1:15 pm. Matt's mom picked us up at the airport and I ended up sleeping over at his house for the night since I was a disaster and couldn't drive home.
Still to this day Matt and myself have kept our vows to never touch alcohol again, and every time we talk about our story in Cuba we get teary eyed at the thought that I could have not been here today and how much stronger it has made us and our relationship.
This is it, finally I am done! It's been 2-3 days now I've been writing this story and here it is! Enjoy!!
Here are some pictures that I decided to add! Enjoy these too :)
Here we go...
***
Sept 22nd 2012
Matt and myself were at his house at the dinner table on his laptop.
Matt - "I wanna go away somewhere...I have a week off in October and then in December."
Me - "okay.... What do you have in mind?"
Matt - *opens Internet window and types in redtag.ca* " let's check prices for Cuba."
So we check and end up finding this really good deal for 7 days in Varadero Cuba, at the Mercure Playa De Oro 4 stars, all inclusive, for $345 with 290 air taxes. Amazing right?!
Matt pulls out his credit card and books the trip. I kept silent the whole time. I couldn't believe this was happening.
Are we really going away?
On vacation?
Together? Alone?
Am I really doing this!?!
Am I dreaming?!?
No! I'm not dreaming! This is real!
Matt - "Alright, it's official... We Are Going To Cuba!!!"
He turned to his mom right away and told her, she was already listening though and was happy for us. We both deserve it.
I freaked out, couldn't believe this was actually happening. The tickets were booked! Seats were chosen I'm going to Cuba!!!
For some reason I'm writing this with lacklustre but I swear it picks up! I find this to be a small introduction. Besides at this point reality hadn't hit me yet.
I'm going to take a big lead forward to October the 20th when it finally did.
***
Oct 20th 2012
Me - "Matt, we have 6 days left. I have nothing packed, I don't know what to bring and I'm freaking out!!!"
Freaking out was an understatement. I was having full blown anxiety attacks. Sleeping wasn't an option anymore either since it became impossible.
You see, this was the first time I was going on vacation. Well that's a lie, I went to Portugal for 3 weeks with my best friend and her family, but this was way different.
A boyfriend, whom I haven't been dating even a year, in a third world country, for a week! Without family?!? This was too spontaneous for me and I wasn't doing well with the pressure.
You see, my life at the time was a circus. My mother 2 months prior just had hip surgery. She had fallen and broken her hip. How did she fall? From drinking. But that's a whole other story on it's own.
Not only was I having family problems but my car kept falling apart. Flat tire, casket leak, you name it, Roxy had it. Money was an issue at the time since I was having issues at work... Kinda like I am right now. Bitch boss = No clients = No $ ... *sigh*
But this is supposed to be a happy story, so let's move on.
Despite everything that could possibly go wrong, my stress levels were going through the roof.
Me and Matt would get into 2-3 arguments a day. I take full responsibility of course. Especially when I would use lines like;
"Why am I bothering to go with you anyways?! All we are going to do is fight!"
Or
"What if something bad happens to us?"
He hates when I have negative thoughts about our relationship ....
... This wasn't true, not all we do is fight.It was my stress that was causing problems. I knew that and so did he.
He put up with alot of my crap and I couldn't thank him more for sticking by me. It definitely isn't easy being with me. I consider it more of a full time job...
October 26th came ever so fast. We had gone shopping finally in-between us both working and Matt's schooling. We do so well together that thinking about it makes me smile. We get things done fast and agree on everything together. *Sigh*
October 25th 9 pm, we finally had everything and were ready to pack before we got some shut eye.
***
Oct 26th 2012 - 12:34 am."Matt it's still not going to fit! We need a bigger suitcase!"
"Ugh! It will fit! Just let me do it!"
"Okay if you say so... We are going to need a bigger suitcase... Just watch"
"Just go to sleep, we have a long day ahead of us. I'll finish up and then join you."
Shut eye? HA! It was 2:15 am when Matt decides that I was right and we needed a bigger suitcase. Of course! Why listen to me in the first place?
After 2 hours of us arguing about the dumb bag, I finally couldn't stay awake any longer and went to sit on the couch where I immediately passed out.
Matt unfortunately, stayed up and repackage everything in 2 separate suitcases cause 1 wasn't going to handle both of our crap. Besides, we also had alot of "gifts" for the people we would encountered in Cuba. Toiletries, toys, clothes, yep, a vacation and humanitarian trip. We were proud.
Matt got no sleep at all as were I got 2 and a half. 4:30 am rolls around and it's time for us to get a move on since our flight is at 6:25 am.
Matt's dad gives us a ride to the airport were he drops us off at the departure area.
Hugs and goodbyes are exchanged and the good ol'
"Have a good time and be safe" are enforced.
We proceed to check in, security and all that jazz till we get to the waiting area. We eat a $20 sandwich that tasted like shit for breakfast before boarding.
"All passengers boarding for flight to Veredro Cuba please proceed to line up"
Okay well obviously not worded like that, but you get it!
At this point I'm shitting bricks!
"Why am I doing this? Why!? Why?! Why?!"
"Oh would you relax!"
"AHHH"
We find our seats, put away our carry on, and sit down. At this point I am about to have an anxiety attack. Matt grabs my hand and looks me in the eyes...
"Do you not want to do this with me?"
"...Of course I do...I'm just scared.."
He smiles...."Everything will be okay," he kisses my hand, "I promise."
I smile back... He always knows how to calm me down.
"Just close your eyes and get some more sleep, we have a full day ahead of us when we land. It will only be a three hour flight."
"Okay:"
So we lifted the arm rests and curled up together and fell asleep. Every so often we would wake up cause the captain would make an announcement about a land mark or something that was interesting to look out the window for. He was really good, informative and the flight was perfect! Absolutely no turbulence!
Three hours flew by and we were getting ready to land in Cuba!
It was 9:15 am when we landed. I was so excited! I just kept turning to Matt and squealing like a little pig!
We landed and well you know the protocol of everything after, go through customs and claim luggage. Smooth sailing from there, everything was pretty fast and we were on the bus that would take us to our resort in no time.
The ride through Havana city was awesome, our spokesperson from Signature Vacations was very informative and funny. The only thing I will never forget from that bus ride was this older man, maybe in his 50's just being a class clown on the bus. Yelling, drinking beer, chatting up everyone about everything. Also, these four younger guys that were also on our bus going to more of a "party" resort. They were talking with the older man for the whole bus ride. We were sitting behind them.
Our stop finally! Oh My Gosh! The place looked gorgeous!
You see, we did plenty of research that I didn't mention before, but we settled with this one over the others. The ratings and feedback weren't the best on it, but we decided it was our first time, we will learn from it. Most of the negative feedback was about the food and the look or cleanlinesses of the hotel and resort. Apparently it needed renovations?
 |
| This was the lobby bar were we spent most of our time! |
Needless to say in both our opinions or experience, the place was perfect! Looked amazing and right up our ally. The only thing was everything was soaked due to the fact a hurricane had just blown through no more then 12 hours ago. But, the groundsmen were already on top of it and cleaning. By day two the resort was dry and spotless.
 |
| Pool area was soaked from hurricane rain storm. |
The first thing we do is check in and put our luggage aside since we couldn't do anything till 12 pm. That's when the room would be available for us to check in. We found the bell-hopper and right away Matt started to use his self taught Spanish language. Yes, he had taught himself to speak Spanish! AMAZING!
We automatically made friends with the bell-hopper who's name was Pedro. He was so nice and took great care of us.
To make a long story a little shorter, we ended up grabbing a drink or 2 and exploring the resort and the beach to kill time. We ended up back at the bar and running into this other Canadian couple who came from the St. Catherine's area. We talked, shared some laughs and they shared some horror stories of their room that the just got 20 minutes before they came to the bar.
 |
| Really Good Drink :) |
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| Canadian Couple |
"We have like ants in our bed," she said. "And the room smells weird and is freezing!"
They actually gave us a tour to their room and showed us what the room looked like. It was kinda run down looking and there was an odour. They were on the first floor though and their balcony was surrounded by soaking wet plants. Of course there would be a musky smell.
We toured the beach and had lunch with them. We realized it was now 3 pm and we forgot about our room check in and luggage.
What? Our stuff is already in our room?
Pedro had taken it upon himself to bring our stuff to our room! And then offered us a ride there in the carts! Is this happening?!? Top service and to make it even better....we ended up getting a room on the second floor with ocean view! We didn't pay for that!!! 1110 was the number of our room, I will never forget that number.
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| Pedro giving us a ride to our room! |
Our room was fairly clean, the bathroom needed a bit more, but everything was taken care of the second day. We were satisfied.
The first day flew by, we hung out mostly with the Canadian couple we met. This only happen the first day though. They became weird and both kinda just kept our distance and became more acquaintances. We ended going to the beach late at night before we went to bed that night. We settled in by 11:30 pm so we could start the second day fresh.
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| Matching wrist bands cause we're cool like that |
"Goalllllllllllllllllllllllllllll oooooooooooooooo"
*Infamous laser noises*
 |
| Bein Sport all day everyday! |
***
Oct 27th, Day 2
"Matt! Matt! Wake up!!! The sun is out! Let's go!!"
"ugggh... What time is it?"
"7:30! Lets go!"
"Noooooooo" *Covers head with pillow*
Yep! I was excited and ready to go, running around the room grabbing things I would need for the day yelling and throwing things at Matt every so often to get him up. We had agreed on waking up at 9 everyday and set alarms just incase. We didn't need one though since I was up everyday at 7:30 am like clockwork :)
"Let me sleep!"
"No! Sleep when your dead! Let's go!"
Everyday was like this and a giant battle to get Matt out of bed.
Breakfast and beach was the routine we adapted everyday, lunch was just snacks we would get from the bar by the pool. We lounged and drank and slept on the beach for 5-6 hours a day.
This vacation really was for R and R.
 |
| Tanning and sleeping! |
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| The drink! Not me! |
Today wasn't just any day though, today would be the day that our relationship changed!
 |
| Yummy! |
 |
| The restaurant |
It was 9 pm, we had just finished having dinner and we had made it back to our room. We sat on the bed and just laughed and giggled about the stupidest and smallest things.
"... *sigh*... You"
"... You? What does that even mean?"
"... You means you.." He laughs and hides his face.
"... No! Tell me what you means! I wanna know since you always say it!"
After 10 mins of him just turning red, hiding his face and saying;
"I can't tell you"
I gave up and decided I wanted to go for a walk.
He ended up leading us to the beach.
It was fresh, and crisp, the moon was high and bright in the sky just shimmering over the rough ocean. The smell of the sea was intense, the waves were loud and obnoxious. It was gorgeous, just breaking.
We stopped for a second, just staring at eachother. Both quiet, not saying a word. Just listening to the ocean waves.
He touched my face and moved the hair that was blown in my face by the wind from the ocean.
He cupped my face in his hands and stared into my eyes. He smiled and kissed my nose then pulled me closer and hugged me tight.
He was making me nervous, my heart was racing. He kept exhaling heavily and sighing alot.
Was this it? Was he going to finally tell me how he felt?!?
"There's something I have been wanting to tell you for sometime now... I just don't know how you will react..."
Yep! I knew it! It was coming! I've been hoping he would tell me soon, for a while now actually. Guess it sort of is my fault that he hasn't seeing as how I fear mongered him into NOT saying it unless he meant it.
I would tell him how much I hated the words 'I love you' being thrown around. So obviously he was nervous.
He was taking so long to spit it out! I was getting frustrated! But I kept composure till he did.
"I ... * gibberish*"
".... What?!... What did you say?"
His face dropped! He looked so disappointed! But I didn't hear him! It was so windy and the waves were so intense plus the fact he practically whispered it!
".... What's wrong Matt? Why do you look like that?"
"Why did you make that face?"
"I didn't hear what you said, that's why"
He gasped and pulled me away to look at me in the eyes;
"... I said I love you..."
".... I love you too"
He smiled, sighed and kissed me. My heart was racing and his hands were shaking. We stood there in the same spot for another 5 minutes just staring at eachother.
We finally decided that we were getting cold. That and the fact we could taste the salt off eachother and my hair smelled like ocean mist and was all tangled. So much for showering...
Before we left Canada Matt had promised me to go to the club with me at least two times while we were there, so tonight we decided would be one of those nights.
We went around 11:30 pm, it was dead at first but picked up pretty fast. We had so much fun, just being with eachother and dancing like no one was watching, although everyone was. We decided to leave around 1:45 am, showered and went to bed. Our relationship had taken a step forward, but it wasn't the words themselves that grounded that. It's what was to come a day later.
***
Oct 28th, Day 3
Pretty much the same as the other two. Got up early thanks to me and just wasted away at the beach. We barely spent time at the swimming pool unless we wanted to go swimming. At the beach they had the red flag up indicating that it was dangerous to go into the ocean due to the high waves that were still from the hurricane passing over the ocean.
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| Red flag indicating danger |
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| Pool area |
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| Me being sick lol |
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| Pro cigar smoker ;) |
Well! Let's just say that it's all fun and games till someone gets hurt..Mainly me...
The tobacco was so intense that I ended up getting a high which caused me to become nauseous and light-headed. Long story short I spent the rest of the night vomiting my brains out in the bathroom and curled up crying in a corner bedside the toilet. YUP, attractive.
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| Spent alot of time here :/ |
Matt took good care of me though and held me the whole night.
***
Oct 29th, Day 4
Today was just like the other day too. Woke up at 7:30, changed, went for breakfast and then went back to the room to suit up for the beach. Drinking and lounging was all we did for the rest of the day till 6-7 pm were we decided that bar sandwiches aren't food and we should probably go eat dinner.
After dinner we went for a bike ride off the resort for a bit before it got dark. Just a little exercise.
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| I got my hair braided :) |
 |
| Dinner outfit :) |
Time flew by and it ended up being 9:16 pm. We showered and got dressed to go down to the bar in the lobby for some social time. This is where the night gets interesting.
 |
| Drinking already? |
 |
| Tymie |
 |
| I can't remember her name for the life of me. |
Matt and myself had already been indulging in drinks for a good two hours now.
 |
| Queen of Britain to the right lol |
Few more drinks later I had to pee! So I took a trip to the wash room. I felt fine, not drunk but warm and tingly, happy, confident. Anyways, I did my business and was washing my hands when this Russian woman came out of the stall trying to adjust her top. She was drunk! You could tell. She walked over to me by the sink and started laughing, she needed help with her bra strap, so I helped. She couldn't speak English, only Russian but somehow we were able to communicate.
 |
| This is Mother Russia |
She attempted to explain to me in hand language that her flight was at 11:30 am, which I finally understood after the fifth attempt. She grabbed my hand and started running with me to her table. Matt who was still talking to the queen of Britain (the Canadians) spotted me and decided to join in.
"Drink Drink", said mother Russia.
This woman was huge! She was sitting at a table that consisted of 5 other Russians, a French man, and now a Portuguese when Matt joined.
 |
| Apparently I took this photo :/ Although I don't recall.. There were more people there, they went to get drinks. |
 |
| I look happy :) BTW the 2 men in this picture are the Russians that help me later on |
She gave me one of those plastic cups which happen to be full of vodka that was already at her table, there were 5 more where that came from! I drank the one she gave me, Matt had one of the other ones and the rest of them polished the others off before going to get another round.
 |
| I look TRASHED..I don't remember this :( |
I recall only having the one she initially gave me, Matt told me I had 4 more afterwards. I don't remember any of this...
I must of already been long gone after the first drink and the drinks prior to joining their table.
Everything from here on is what Matt told me happened, I unfortunately do not remember anything at all no matter how hard I try.
This is the day my life changed...
"Are you sure you should be drinking that? You've already had 2"
"Ya! I'm fine!"
2 shots more and 20 minutes later...
"I'm going to the bathroom"
....This is were I get up and fall instantly to the floor beside the bar according to Matt.
The Russian woman grabs me and starts shaking me and slaps me 3 times to wake me up. I'm dragged the the bathroom and put in a stall where I do my business and fall out of the stall, not decently I might add. The russian woman immediately had Matt come in and fix me up, pull up my underwear and stuff.
The Russian men at the table had to carry me back to our hotel room. Matt couldn't do it cause for one he has a bad back, two he was just as drunk, and three well, I'm dead weight.
Back at the hotel room I'm loosing consciousness. Blacking out, slurring, not making sense anymore. Matt gets worried and decides that he should try and make me throw up the alcohol. This doesn't work seeing as I end up biting his finger and hurting him, drawing blood. He still continues to try and force his fingers down my throat to make me vomit. Trying to control my head isn't easy so I end up smashing my head around.
Matt at this point is scared, my eyes are rolling backwards into my head and I'm not communicating anymore. He props me up on the toilet in a puke position with my arms crossed under my head on the toilet seat and on my knees. I looked stable so he took off quickly to the lobby to have them call an ambulance.
On his way back to the room he spots me falling as he enters the room. From here all hell breaks loose...
I had fallen and smashed my head extremely hard on the floor. So hard that I ended up passed out.
Yes ladies and gents, I was now passed out with alcohol poisoning.
The ambulance arrived and took me to a nearby clinic of theirs in the city that is like a hospital. Matt never left my side, scared and crying he held my hand in the back of the ambulance. The ride was 20 minutes. Matt tells me that the whole entire ride to the hospital I could only mutter one thing...
"I LUVV YOU"
Now imagine this being screamed in a drunken Mexican voice for 20 minutes none stop. Yep, that was me...
Just before we reach the hospital is where the most scariest thing happens... I slipped into a comma... Between the concussion and alcohol poisoning, my system shut down.
8...
8 hours...
8 hours of waiting....
Will she wake up?
I can't imagine how Matt felt, nor do I ever want too..
The nurses told him all we can do now is wait. Wait for me to wake up. If she wakes up, the worst is over.
IV's, 2 injections, they tried to flush me out.
I urinated myself 5 times. All of which were on Matt since he put his head next to my leg.
Yes I had urinated on my boyfriend and he's still with me... That's love.
He was disgustingly sick from all the drinking, he was just as drunk. He made himself puke over 6 times to try and get the alcohol out of himself. He tried focusing on my breathing the whole time that the nurses told him that he doesn't have to check my pulse to know I'm breathing, just check to see my chest rising.
8 hours of excruciating waiting. He cried so much that day... Nurses and other people at the hospital had to calm him down multiple times.
***
Oct 30th, Day 5 - 6:37 am
The sound of the machinery I was hooked up to... My eyes finally opened.
The first thing I see is Matt's face, red, swollen and puffy eyes as if he had been crying...
*Giant sigh* "NURSE! NURSE! SHES AWAKE!" *Matt screamed in Spanish*
".... Where am I?"
"don't move babe, you'll pull out the intravenous"
".. What's wrong Matt? Why are you crying? Where am I? What happened?!"
I was freezing, shaking, and started panicking... I wasn't getting answers as to what was going on. The only thing that was being said to me was to calm down and for me to not move.
My face hurt and felt swollen, my feet felt numb and I could barely feel them. I tried to wiggle my toes but had barely any strength.
The smell of urine was potent. It made me nauseous.
"Matt! Answer me please! What happened?!?"
I started to cry...
"I'll explain everything after when we get back to the hotel baby I promise just please try and stay still"
He broke down crying... This scared me even more.
He walked out of the room to pay for the services provided. Over 200 pesos were spent that night..
I was then taken off the table and placed in a wheelchair..There was a car waiting for us. I was weak but able to walk so I got in the car myself.
In the car Matt spoke to the driver in Spanish as I sat in the back-seat just thinking to myself.
I could of died....I wouldn't of even known.... I didn't feel or hear anything. I wasn't aware of anything that happened..I didn't even dream...
The last thing I had remembered was looking across the table at Matt. He was smiling and laughing and speaking in French to the only French man that was there. We were supposed to go to the club that night...I remember looking at him and saying;
"Are we still going to the club?"
"Why? This is so much more fun!"
...That was it.....After that, the last thing was waking up in the hospital looking at him, with tears in his eyes. What happened?
We arrived at the resort, weak and disoriented I made my way back to the hotel room.
"Stay here, just change and lie down, try to avoid bending over please. I need to go pay the cab driver."
I had a very bad concussion. I had smashed the left side of my head really bad when I fell in the bathroom. Not to mention all the other times I smashed my head around that night. I had no balance, could barely stand or walk a straight line. I couldn't focus, my vision was blurred and my face was bruised and in alot of pain, my bottom lip was busted and swollen. Body covered in bruises and bumps. What the hell did I do to myself!?!
"Matt! Please don't leave me! I'm scared!" I started crying.
"Baby I promise I'll be right back, I wont take long, just lie down and I will be with you soon." He kissed my forehead and then left.
I had to use the wash room so I went. While sitting on the toilet I put my head down on my hands... I got extremely disoriented and almost fell off the toilet. No wonder he said not to bend over...
Three minutes later the concussion started to get the best of me,I started panicking and started yelling out for Matt. I lay down on the bed but the room was spinning.
"Matt! Matt!" .. I opened the door and stood in the hallway and cried out for him again.
"Matt! Where are you?!" .. I started to cry. I was confused and scared.
I went to the railing near the staircase and stood there for 5 minutes just waiting for him, but nothing.
Too disoriented to use the stairs I just sat down on the steps and wept. I wanted Matt with me and I wanted to go home.
Pacing back and forth, he was taking forever...
20 minutes later I couldn't take it any more, leaving the hotel room door open, I made my way down the stairs, and down the pathway to the lobby. It must have been around 8 am because people were starting to come out. Grounds men cleaning and the pool boy watched me frantically head for the lobby entrance with tears in my eyes and my Pjs on.
As I approached the stairway that led to the lobby I saw Matt come through the doors. I yelled his name and started running towards him crying. He ran towards me and grabbed me.
"What are you doing here? Why are you out of the room? I told you to stay!"
"You left me! Why did you leave me! For so long!"
He sighed and hugged me tight...
"I had to go with them to the bank cause the money exchanger person wasn't open yet here. I'm so sorry baby"
Helping me keep my balance, we walked back to the room.
It was about 8:45 am, sun wasn't really out just yet and it was pretty windy.
"You are going to bed until you wear this off. I don't care how long this takes, I'm staying with you in bed."
I didn't want to stay in bed all day, but I was so exhausted a I felt like death. But I was starving!
"Let's go get breakfast first, then we can go back and sleep."
He agreed.
We got changed and headed to the restaurant for breakfast. We ended up running into the group of Russians that had helped me last night. They all asked me if I was okay and Matt told them I was hospitalized. We also ran into our Cuban mommy, yes let me introduce her.
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| Cuban mommy <3 |
She was one of the waitresses in the restaurant who looked out for us and we did the same in return by giving her stuff for her grand kids. We had met so many nice people, we were definitely lucky. They all were concerned with my well being which was really nice. We also ran into Mother Russia who had been drinking vodka from the morning to kill her hangover? The hell !?
After breakfast we then decided to visit the nurse on site....El Capitan Useless might I add...She knew nothing and didn't help a bit.
Back at the room we ended up going to bed. Matt and I talked for a bit before I passed out. He explained some stuff to me but could never completely finish because he would start to cry.
The topic of love came up, probably because two days prior he had confessed his love for me. I believe at some point while I was babbling I questioned if he really did love me or if he just thought he did..
His words to me were;
"I do love you, I know with all my heart I love you. If I had any doubt or questioned it at all, last night had made it all clear to me. The thought of loosing you killed me. The thought of returning home without you slipped my mind. If something would of happened to you, I would return with you, but not alive."
My heart was content, and wrapped up in his arms I feel asleep.I slept for 4 hours, which was good. Took me awhile to go to sleep since I was delirious. Every time I closed my eyes the room would spin.
When I woke up it was around 2 pm. When I got up, I felt like I was going to die! I wanted to go home! Matt made some phone calls to Sunwing to try and book an early flight home but they rejected unless I would go to a hospital and get cleared okay to fly. So basically this is what we did.
We called for a taxi to take us back to the hospital we came from earlier that morning. We negotiated 25 back and forth. Unfortunately, the hospital only had a head X-ray which wasn't going to help at all so we had to get a doctors note to be sent to the hospital in the city of Varadero for a CT scan. We were so fortunate to have found such a kind hearted taxi driver who then negotiated 50 back and forth, which is actually dirt cheap seeing as this was almost an hour drive.
When we arrived there, the doctor had examined my head and signs and symptoms but was not able to perform a CT scan since their machine was broken. This meant I had to be sent to another hospital which was in the city of Matanza, even farther then the last one, another hour and a half drive. The taxi driver left the price at the same amount. Honestly this man was an angel.
Finally arrived there at around 6 pm. The driver stayed with us the whole time, taking care of me and making sure we didn't get taken advantaged off. Surprisingly, all the doctors, nurses, and surgeons we met there that took care of me spoke English and Spanish. This calmed my nerves and made my concussion symptoms a whole lot better. The worst was yet to come but before I explain what happen next, I want to describe to you what the hospital looked like.
Aren't you lucky to be living in a country where healthcare is a high priority. Please ladies and gents, DO NOT I repeat, DO NOT complain about our healthcare system.
The hospital I visited was run down, half of the walls had collapsed, and it reeked of sickness. The surgical tables or beds whatever they are were metal and were covered by a single sheet that was covered in blood stains. I'm not even kidding, it was really bad. The bed beside me had a drunken doped up man handcuffed to the bed and the only bathroom they had for patients was a small hole in the wall with a broken door, toilet had no seat, was backed-up , and the floor was torn apart and covered in piss. Not to mention there was no lighting in the bathroom since the electrical wires and cords were sizzling and hanging from the ceiling. Yah..comforting...
It was finally time for me to have my CT scan.... This was a terrifying experience for me. Let me elaborate; the door to the scanning room was a large metal garage door that had to be lifted from the ground...The room inside was made out of wood so it kind of reassembled a sauna. The people who were performing the scan only spoke in Spanish so I couldn't communicate with them at all, which made me nervous. Thank God for Matt and our taxi driver, seriously.
The scan was torture due to the concussion screwing around with my equilibrium. The entire time it felt like I was doing 360's in the machine. Finally it was over! My brain was fine thank God. Just a really bad concussion. Phew!
The CT Scan costed us another 300 something pesos...Which we couldn't pay for at the time since they didn't take Visa. They negotiated to come to our resort the next day at 2 pm to collect the money. This ended up being a mission and a half since the money exchange place in the resort for no apparent reason shut down? Okay? So they had to pick us up and take us to the bank. Everything was paid for and taken care of the next day.
When we finally arrived back to the resort it was 11:12 pm, we had wasted a whole day hospital jumping. We thanked the taxi driver graciously for his amazing services and the time he dedicated to us. He even stopped off at a gas station and bought us beverages. Yah! I know right?! We gave him some toiletries and clothes for his daughter. We grabbed a quick bite to eat and went back to the hotel. I was beat and needed to sleep it off.
The sad part was Matt blamed himself for all of this and every time we talked about it he would cry... This hurt me alot....
"I shouldn't of left you in the room by yourself, I shouldn't of trusted you by yourself without falling over." This is what he would repeat daily...
Me and Matt also made a vow that day to never drink again, and we didn't.
***
Oct 31st, Day 6 & 7
Day 6 and 7 are pretty much the same, wasting away at the beach, sleeping was all we did, we got super brown in the last 2 days. The weather was gorgeous plus 30 degrees, and the ocean was now accessible to swim in thankfully.
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| Ocean time Finally |
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| Owned by a wave lol |
During the two last days we exchanged emails and addresses with the Russians and with our Cuban mommy.
Matt decided the last 2 days to book the À La Carte for us. It was nice and very classy compared to the buffet restaurant we had been eating at daily.
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| A la Carte 1 outdoors |
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| A la Carte 2 indoors |
On the last night we were there, Matt had agreed to go to the club with me before we left. Before we went to the club we sat at the bar drinking virgin Pina Colada mixture where we ended up meeting a very funny British man.
He had a strong accent but had amazing sense of humour.
"We wanted to go swimming with the dolphins but it was way too expensive."
*In a British accent* "Well you could of just jumped into the lake where they keep them up the road"
"Are you allowed to do that?"
*In a British accent* "Well they can't stop you."
BAHAHAH
We departed around 11:46 pm and Matt and myself went to the club. We were there for about an hour and a half before we decided that we should get some rest since we have to be up early for our 9 am flight back to Toronto. That and I probably shouldn't over do it with my concussion and all.
We went back to the hotel room, changed and went immediately to sleep.
***
Nov 2nd, Day 8
6 am came really fast and we were up and ready to grab our stuff and leave.
We said good bye to our favourite staff who basically forced us to eat breakfast and made us plates to eat outside while we waited for the bus to pick us up, and to our Russian friends.
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| One of our favourite bartenders from the first day, Noel. |
Between the bus ride to the airport and boarding it was 9:10 am when we were seated.
Oh! A really funny addition to this story! Remember the 4 guys that we saw on the bus ride when we arrived in Cuba? We saw them again at the airport except one of them was in a wheelchair with a broken foot or ankle cause he was in a cast!... Just thought I would add that in there.. Guess they really did "party hard"
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| Sad to be leaving =( |
The flight home was dreadful due to my head injury, so much pressure and pain and my ears were killing!
Still to this day Matt and myself have kept our vows to never touch alcohol again, and every time we talk about our story in Cuba we get teary eyed at the thought that I could have not been here today and how much stronger it has made us and our relationship.
This is it, finally I am done! It's been 2-3 days now I've been writing this story and here it is! Enjoy!!
Here are some pictures that I decided to add! Enjoy these too :)
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| Matt and I on that horrible night. |
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| Coconut anyone? |
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| Yummy! |
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| Our balcony |
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| Cuba 2012.. Never to forget. |
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| Stunning beach |
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| Breathtaking. |
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| Palm Tree! |
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| Human Chess board! |
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| Gorgeous! |
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| I <3 You |
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| We didn't get to swim with them *SAD FACE* |
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| Beautiful Lobby |
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| Photo Bomb! Hot Pink ! His name is Bitch Tits LOL |
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| <3 *Sigh* |
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| The 2 Russian men that carried my dead body to my room! |
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| Lizard love. |
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| Our maid was awesome! Something new everyday! |
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| Cuban Mommy <3 |
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| I freaking miss that tan! |
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| Two Cubans :) |
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| And this is why we call him "Bitch Tits" |
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| Miss you Cuba </3 |
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| Night time fun! |
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| Thanks Love! See our maid is awesome! |
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| Last dinner in Cuba </3 |
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| This is Jesus! No really, that's his name! He made me that paper flower BTW! <3 |
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| Goodbye Cuba :'( |
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| Hello Toronto .. |
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