Sunday Confirmation

Sunday 21st was Matthew's cousin Marcus's grade 8 confirmation. I of course was invited which is great, but family gatherings that are not my family scare the crap out of me.

I think it could be the fact I haven't really met 'all' of his family yet, or at least all in one sitting. Well it wasn't that large of a gathering at the banquet hall which was a good thing. But none of this is important or relevant to why I am writing this blog.

I want to discuss the relationship of Matt's mom and I. Lets start with outfit selecting shall we. First of all, I was the first person she wanted to give her an opinion on what she should wear. Skirt or pants? This top or that one? These shoes or those?
Let me start off by saying, I'm an acceptance whore. I have this "need" to be accepted by the significant others parents. Especially the mother, always the mother.

I've been dating Matt for a year, just 2 months over now and it feels like I've been fighting for his mothers attention. Well, not really, she would bake with me and stuff but still. I wanted more! I also felt like I was trying to take the place of Matthew's Ex girlfriend Maria, which was hard for me to stomach.

Anyways, back to the story.

So, the day of, I needed pantyhose, I was going to go with Matt to Walmart to quickly grab a pair but his mother offered to have me try on a pair of hers that weren't opened. Okay, nothing special about that right? Right.

After I was dressed, I was trying out accessories to wear with the dress, which of course I asked her opinion. She took a look at the bracelet I had on, then turned to her jewellery box and went through her stuff and picked one of hers for me to wear. I thought that was really nice of her. I then sat down and watched her put on her make-up.

Once we were all done we headed to the church then straight to the hall. I ended up sitting beside his mom in the hall, which was fine. Night went well, then espresso and brandy and baileys shots were passed around. I declined of course 'vow from Cuba'.

Then his mother says;

" Does this mean I don't have a drinking partner if I want to go out?"

WoW! I swear I must of blushed!

Matt then stepped in before I could say anything;

" Don't worry, she'll grow out of it soon enough."

Umm, no I won't... I almost died!! Hello!?!

Then it was time for pictures. They came to the table that we were sitting at and wanted a family group shot. I moved out of the way. Lina; Matt's cousin, then told me to get into the picture, I'm considered part of the family too.

Matt's mom then followed that with "practically" which threw me off...maybe more so in a bad way...

Later that night when we got home, Matt and his dad went downstairs to the basement to watch the highlights from the Benfica game, while his mom, miki and I stayed upstairs. Me and his mom ended up having a long winded conversation for over half an hour. The conversation consisted of married life, changes, dealing with the family drama they are experiencing. I like it when she opens up to me and talks to me about personal things. Especially when we can relate.

I hope soon we can actually have bonding time. Like if she were to invite me out somewhere alone. Like she did with the ex Maria...all..the...time.

God.

Update on health- still shit. That is all.

Lack of Affection

So I noticed it has been awhile since I last posted.

Where has the time gone? Anyway

So an update on my health status, it's still shit. In alot of pain at the moment and still no feeling in my right thumb and index finger *sad face*

Chiro x2 a week and I've been slacking with the massages. Haven't had one in over a week and I think it is the reason why I'm not improving. Crap.

Tax season? Finally just filed mine yesterday. Pushing the deadline much?

Affection? Hmm, the reason for the title should be explained.

Where do I start? Hmm let's see, NO affection for moi !

None.

At all.

Kisses? Nah! I don't get any. Bedroom passion? Don't get any of that either. Spooning is the only affection I get and sadly, even that's poor and lacking. Hugs? Sure, if your into the whole hugging your buddy *pat pat* on the back thing.

What happen? A fight that took place like 2 weeks ago... Sure, talk about holding a grudge. Although it's not me!

Yes dear Matthew was apparently hurt and now he is "safe guarding" himself... Okay?

No! It's annoying! Like get over it already! It was just a fight! No one cheating on anyone, no one physically hurt anyone. Just a regular altercation! It happens in relationships. But now you want to shut down everything else in the relationship cause you want to what? Prove a point?

I'm starting to think my injury has alot to do with this. I've noticed a change in his behavior big time. He started off caring and concerned, helpful, always wanting to treat me or take care of me. It lasted for the first week or so. But instead of it getting better or it not being a big issue, it got worse and started affecting me emotionally. I feel like he's frustrated with me because I'm still broken and need help. It's like I'm not allowed to be injured for more then a week and supposed to spring right back. No, it doesn't work like that. I use to be the one taking care of him and now the roles reversed. He's not taking well to it.

*sigh* On another note, I'm job hunting again, looking for a part time office job so I can take it easy on my body and focus on fixing my posture and spinal deformities.

Well back to work, lets hope things change and start looking up. I need a pick me up and soon. I want to go to England. Seriously, start fresh.

*Fingers Crossed*

Crazy Week

So I haven't posted since last week.

Probably because I've been broken?

I'm a walking disaster right now. Looking back to my last post, I'm doing a whole lot worse. My hand is numb! Well my thumb and index finger. My neck and shoulder is still in pain but doing alot better. Did I mention I have electric sharp shooting pain into my arm?

Ugh! It's affecting my work. OH! I forgot to mention! I'm a freak! Yes a freak! I had X-rays done on my full spine and I look like a lopsided animal! It's so depressing to know I look like that underneath all that skin and fat. Yuck!

I had cupping done. It's nasty looking. (Picture below says enough)

My cervical spine has no curve at all! And my lumbar spine is curved and rotated. I have rotatory scoliosis. YaY? :/ Great!

So with the help of Massage Therapists, Chriopractor's, and a Naturopathic doctor, they are all currently trying to correct me and help me live a pain free life. Is this possible?

*STOP FAVORING YOUR RIGHT SIDE*

I've been wearing a neck brace at night, that's pretty awesome. Not.

I have a question to ask! Why wasn't warm ice created? What about people with cold sensitivities. You know, the kind where you can't creat your own body heat and your core temperature drops below -80. Fun times let me tell you.

Hmm, lets see; I've been massaging my clients a with my right hand in my pocket to avoid using it. Doesn't really matter since I can't feel it anyways!! Professional right? Not. Well, whatever it takes to stop abusing myself right?

All I know is I'm one step away from looking like Kwazi Moto. No joke. True story.

Sleepy time.

PS. Current picture.